Dear ECS: Family Time

Dear ECS,

Hey honey, it is the heart of holiday season and we will be spending Christmas here in Addis.  The house smells great and we have a small tree and lights strung up.  It feels like Christmas, but not in the way of the holidays of my youth with the cold, and twinkling lights, and coziness.   This is our third holiday in a warm place in this crazy Foreign Service life, and honestly it is hard to recreate the feeling of my own childhood in a foreign land. 

But recreating my own childhood is not the point.  You love this season, with fun parties and events and most importantly family.  Your mom and I have very intentionally taken a broad definition of family since you were born.  You have dozens of aunts and uncles -- some that share your DNA and many who don't.  As a result, you have gotten to spend lots of time with loved ones, people who we think of as family.

In addition to the numerous loved ones sprinkled around the world, some of whom we have gotten to see recently and some who we keep in touch with over various technology tools, we have had the pleasure of hosting my sister and brother and law, then my parents (aka the babas), and now dear friends from SF (another aunty and uncle) over the last month.  These have been great times, whether playing in our house or compound for hours, or heading down south in Ethiopia to walk in the jungle beneath monkeys. 

Having loved ones visit us is such a joy, we are happy to show the places you like, the places we like, here in Ethiopia.   What I have found in these 4 years of living overseas is that visitors do something sort of magical, they make us see the places we live through new eyes once again.  

The feeling of arrival to Ethiopia and the discovery we felt way back in June of 2017 has mostly gone by the wayside with our routines and schedules and assessment of places we like, or don’t like.  When our family and friends come, the excitement and wonder that they feel in exploring the city and country is deliciously infectious.  For some reason that is beyond me, the renewal we get is much stronger than when your mom and I lived in various places back home. 

Anyway honey, we are so happy to celebrate Christmas and the holidays with you.  The leaps and bounds you have realized this year is astounding, the person who will open presents in a few days in our Addis house is so different than the one that opened presents in our Airbnb in Austria a year ago.  What a joy it is to be along for your growth and progress.

Merry Christmas! 

love,

dad

Dear ECS: No whale sharks, no problem

Dear ECS,

Hey honey, how are you doing?  We are wrapping up a busy weekend here in Addis, and have the pleasure of hosting Elsa and Tim.   It is nice to be getting into the holidays, and I for one am really looking forward to spending more time with you, your mom, and our family over the next week. 

You have continued to thrive and are such a delight on a daily and hourly basis.  Your vocab is exploding, which makes it so fun as a dad to spend time together and tell jokes back and forth and crack each other up. 

Your mom, you and I had a great short getaway last weekend to Djibouti.  Yep, we snuck away to Djibouti, which had more than a few of our friends befuddled here in Addis.  I have to admit, I was a little skeptical going on the trip as a result.  Then, we had a great time, swimming in the ocean, eating good French-influenced seafood and having great “whole family” time.

Beyond the general desire to head to the beach, we picked this time of year to explore Djibouti for a few days because it is the start of the whale shark season.  These massive, massive fish, which are the largest fish on earth and in the winter, come to warm waters off the Djiboutian coast. 

Our last day, we headed out for an all-day tour with the affable American Ken (who is highly recommended) that started with an hour on the main road that heads to the Ethiopia/Djibouti border.  It was interested to see that aspect of the transport and logistics work that brings in so much of our goods we depended on here in Addis and Ethiopia generally.  The size of the ports was pretty impressive and seeing the fuel trucks waiting to be filled and driven to us here reinforced the symbiotic relationship between these two neighbors. 

After an hour on the asphalt, we took a right turn on to dirt for some grand 4x4ing through a really pretty canyon.  The entire drive reminded me of the great basin and range topography in Nevada.  We wound through the canyon and eventually got back to the coast, where it was time to get in a skiff.  

Once we were safely onboard the boat, we headed downwind along the super rugged coast, which was dotted with numerous beaches.  To the north was the massive 6,000-foot ridge, a mountain that seemingly descends right down to the water’s edge.  It was hard to believe that we would be sleeping in our house in Addis later that night, as we felt in such a different climate and biome. 

Scanning the water for the dorsal fins, we kept heading west until Ken proposed some snorkeling for your mom and dad.  The setting was incredible, with a couple of these beaches within swimming distance, and some Djiboutian fisherman chilling on the beach.  We snorkeled, alternating being in the boat with you.  Having lived in the Bahamas for 2 years, we are pretty familiar with high quality snorkeling and diving.  The reef was good and hundreds of colorful fish flinting here and there.  The visibility was a bit worse than the Bahamas, but all in all it was wonderful to be back to doing an activity I grew to love deeply in Nassau. 

Then it was on a nearby beach for a picnic lunch and some playful running, and some more swimming/snorkeling.   The beach had great sand and my highlight was running on the beach with you as we both doubled over in delight and laughter with the joy of the day. 

After a couple of hours it was time to get back on the water and keep looking for those huge whale sharks.  We were now beating back upwind and the waves were pretty large, which had your mom concerned (me too, a little bit).  The choppiness made it tough to have a baseline to pick out those big dorsal fins and we got to the point that your mom didn’t; even care about the whale sharks.  Which is good, because we never saw any.  I like that the sharks are wild and seeing them is not guaranteed - the difference between a wild safari and visiting a refuge.  Of course, it would have been great to see these massive organisms.  Maybe next time.

We tucked back into the little harbor we had left many hours ago, with your mom visibly relieved that we were through the rough waters and back on land.  No whale sharks, no problem.  We had a great day and our memories are going to be part of our Korol family collective memories and our journey for years to come.  

On to more adventures sweetie. 

love,

dad

Dear ECS: It has been a minute

Dear ECS,

Hey honey, it has been a minute since I wrote to you (almost 2 months!).  Sorry about that--it has been pretty busy per usual for the entire Korol family and I haven’t been able to carve out the time to write.

One big development since I last wrote to you is that you have started at your new school.  Classes are taught in Amharic and French, which is quite a challenge for an adorable three year old whose life outside of school is entirely conducted in English.  I don’t really speak any French beyond the requisite “ca va?”  It is a challenge that you are making look easy thus far, happily counting in three languages, and switching pretty seamlessly between them within a moment.

We have also had plenty of playdates – sometime you with your friends and sometimes your friends and my friends in tandem. 

We have also enjoyed having visitors over the last couple of weeks, a treat here on the other side of the world with long, long flights required from the States that cost an arm and a leg.  We hosted so many people in the Bahamas; by my count 80 visitors stayed the night in our townhouse there in the two years we lived there (well you lived there like a year and a few months technically). 

One joy of having visitors come to your city and house is that you get to show them the things you like – be it the trails we enjoy near the house, or our favorite restaurants and shops, or the best day and/or weekend trips outside of Addis.   Seeing and hearing about these delights reinforces the qualities of the city and country that we enjoy, in effect seeing the familiar again through new eyes. 

This process is a microcosm of seeing the world again and renewed through your eyes as a parent.  An example from last evening was seeing the shine in your eyes and wonder in your voice while we looked at this massive bird of prey, a kite, perched on a tree branch high above our flower garden before it swooped elsewhere.  That bird was stunning and powerful and special, but I would have probably not focused on this moment of beauty without you showing me the way.

What else have we been up to?  

Predictably it has involved lots of airports and airplanes – luckily two of your favorite things.  Your ability to travel well is amazing, and that same excitement you had on seeing the huge bird last night at our house is replicated a multitude of times on our numerous trips, be it a UNESCO castle or a cave church from the 10^th century.  Right now, you are super curious and want to understand the why behind pretty much everything.  Why is a great question to ask when traveling, and the answers often are so revealing of human nature and nature broadly.  I try as much as I can to engage each of those ‘why’ questions as an opportunity to share some little nugget I have learned in my time on earth.

Some of our trips this last many weeks have been with you, and some have been solo parent trips.  I visited friends in Paris and then did a boys weekend in Lisboa--both of which were sublime.  Mom was in Paris a week ago for a Duke girl’s weekend to celebrate her fortieth birthday (looking and feeling great @ 40 Mu!).   

We also met up as a family-visiting friends in Cairo – a city that was charming and steeped in millenniums of human history.  Then we have done some long weekend trips inside Ethiopia.  So a lot of movement and amazing places in the last couple of months. 

love you honey - mais amor,

dad

Dear ECS: Welcome back to whole family

Dear ECS,

Welcome back to Addis Ababa to you and your lovely mom!  You guys just got back from 2+ weeks in America with our family and friends.  The return has been wonderful, for all concerned, including your nannies and our driver.  Several of them have said over the last couple of days how happy you are and how happy that makes them to see you joyous upon returning home. 

I am pretty confident you are happy to be back, as last night we were hanging out by the fire and you looked mischievously at mom and me and said “I am SO happy right now” followed by the gem of “I love whole family.”  Me too, and I wish I could have told you those feelings in me, and your mom, in such a succinct and perfect statement.

Being apart was not great for your ol’ dad, but at this point it is a kind of normal.  And knowing that you were having such a great time in Germany, Colorado, Utah, and Maine made things easier.  That would have been quite the year for me as a 3 year old, but for you it is just August.  Or just part of August.

Your trip to America was ameliorated for me by doing some travel as well in the region, first a great group trip back to the Tigray region of Ethiopia with stunning rock churches and huge vistas.  In Tigray, we ate great food and observed a blood moon in a place with basically no light pollution.  

A personal highlight was standing on the edge of this huge cliff overlooking miles and miles and having this primal urge to scream from every fiber of my being.  So I did.  And that feeling has stayed with me somehow for the last 3+ weeks.  Pretty cool.  And then last weekend I went on a solo trip to Uganda, mostly because I had never been there and heard good things. Also because your mom had been already and was not super keen on going back when we still have a lot of new places to explore. 

Uganda vs Morocco rugby match 

It is funny to look at the calendar and see we are half way through August.  Where did the summer go?  Part of that probably comes from the fact that “summer” in Addis is the rainy season and hence doesn’t feel summery most of the time.  The summer here is more like the other 9 months.  But also it is time passing quickly, for pretty much great reasons of adventures big and small, great community and friends for you and your parents, fulfilling work for mom and dad, and stability at home. 

We are past our halfway point in Addis and looking in earnest about what is next.  That process still has to play out, but I can remember so clearly you and I arriving in Addis the first night way back in June of 2017, getting off the airplane and eventually to our house.  To this very living room where I write this with the fire crackling, and so many fond memories for all of us.  None of us knew what to expect and what was to come here in Ethiopia.  And now we are closer to the end of our time here than the beginning.  I would love to know how you perceive time at your tender age of three and whether it feels like a long time here in Addis Ababa.  That seems fundamentally unanswerable, but we do know you have been living life to the fullest and enjoying your life here in Africa.  Your mom and dad can certainly say the same. Whole family.

love,

dad

Dear ECS: “I wish we lived in Italy”

Dear ECS,

After a week vacation in Sicily, we all wish we lived in Italy.  Not that life in Addis is bad, just that vacation life in northeast Sicily was so sublime.  So it wasn't such a surprise, when you said  – “I wish we lived in Italy.” Life since the last blog post has been good, and busy.  Ethiopia continues to be endlessly interesting during a period of enormous changes; we are very fortunate to be here as history happens seemingly weekly.

But, as you have personified all of your three years on earth, the Korol family still loves vacations and hence we took advantage of the 4^th of July to head to Sicily, with a sprinkling of Dubai.  The short sweet vacation was with two other couples and your buddies--their three year olds.  Surprisingly, the travel from Ethiopia to Sicily was relatively easy -- we flew to Catania, Sicily with just one lay over in Dubai.  

Our vacation was that delicious combination of lingering while also feeling like we took advantage of pretty much every moment.  Of course, many of those moments were sitting in the back patio of our agri-tourismo farmhouse looking up at Etna volcano with the tangerine trees in the foreground.  Breakfasts that take 2-3 hours in that setting are so sublime, and different from the way we tend to eat back breakfast back home in Addis.  You tend to love the strawberry yogurt, which is not a shock, but also the wonderful fruit on offer everywhere.

Your parents enjoyed those breakfasts immensely, but we really embraced the seafood.  Addis and Ethiopia are landlocked, so the only fish that is regularly around is Nile perch.  Nile perch is good, but nothing like the swordfish, octopus, tuna, clams, and mussels your mom and dad tried to fit in any chance we could.  I had anticipated the food in Sicily to be the heavy version of Italian food, without any rationale basis for that assumption.  Nope, I was wrong.  Thankfully.  The best meals were lighter fish stews and combination platters, with the light touch of fresh sun kissed tomatoes and capers.  Interestingly the land-based food nearly always had a sprinkling of pistachios, which is a another delightful staple of the Sicilian diet.

Beyond the food, it was wonderful to be immersed with our friends, a non-stop play date for kiddos, moms and dads.  We found a nice mix of enjoying the tranquil farm in the northeast of the island (which is surprisingly large), checking out different towns and villages in this area as well as a day trip to the north coast.  The variety of the spots was really enjoyable, one day exploring one of the main villages used in the filming of the Godfather movies, maybe a thousand or 1,500 feet of relief above the sea and still quaint and small with the World Cup watching on a grand patio overlooking the landscape, and then the next day at equally charming village to the south, this one right on the water with a huge castle right over the sea, the walls of the castle merging seamlessly into the limestone cliffs.  It was also cool to wander to the north, which was unexpectedly an entirely different bio with lush, verdant hills, which had your parents thinking of Jamaica as opposed to a landscape more akin to drier Southern California on the northeast coast.  Cool to see the difference of climate just 40-50 miles apart. 

Watching you play with your friends was endlessly enjoyable, be it you snuggling with your friend as you slept while your parents dined or playing tug of war playfully with your other friend on the pebble beach at the Isola Bella nature reserve.   One cool thing in seeing the you play was how fellowship and love transcends language, as each of you three kids have various native languages (German, Italian, English).  There was some overlap, but not a ton, and so you guys communicated with laughter and squeals of delight and hugs. 

Now we are back home in Addis – it is nice to be home.  Your mom is in Khartoum, Sudan for the workweek, so it is just you and me, which is fun.  She is missed and will be home soon.  Until then, lots of cuddles and goldfish are in our collective future.

Love,

dad  

Dear ECS: When you fart in the bath, it makes bubbles

Dear ECS,

“When you fart in the bath, it makes bubbles.” Yep. 

Welcome home honey, I have missed you very much.  You too Mu.  Elle and Mu spent about three weeks in DC.  They returned to Addis this weekend--making it a wonderful one.  Out of my character we have spent basically the entire time at home relaxing, seeing friends, and trying to get over jet lag.  But life doesn’t always have to be go-go-go   Getting over a 14 hour flight direct from DC is tough for us adults, much less for a wonderful three year old who loves to watch tv on planes (just like your dad). 

So here we are on Sunday even, with the fire going, rain pummeling outside the house while we are all cozy inside.   We had a lovely euro style lingering lunch on our patio, and last night had a BBQ with so many dear friends, welcoming you home.  The weekend has been more idyllic than I imagined when I was looking forward to having you and mom home.   The challenge of having your family apart once you have a child is larger than I could have forecast.  As I have written about on this blog, it feels like a part of me is absent when you are traveling – like my imaginary third arm has gone missing with a dull ache. 

One of the reasons I have missed you so much is the leaps and bounds you are making seemingly on a daily basis.  The development is happening mentally, verbally, emotionally and physically.  On the last point, it is fun seeing you bounce around with more confidence in every step and less self conscious about making a misstep.  Also cool to see how you are able to recover when getting knocked off center, having the dexterity to right yourself on the fly.  And the physical maturation is dwarfed by the progress you are making as a human – being kind, sharing and connecting.  Your vocab and syntax continues to explode, for instance the very accurate, and adorable, fact that when you fart in the bath, you make bubbles.

Seeing you on FaceTime being so happy with your mom, with my parents, with our friends makes it easier to deal with the absence.  Connectivity and technology has made it so much easier to deal with being apart, it bridges the gap of thousands of miles, oceans, and continents and I am so thankful to live in this modern era of connectivity.   It is hard to imagine being apart for longer periods without the technology, granting that the very fact that you and mom can go to DC for a causal 3 weeks is based on the very fact of the tech enabled system of international air travel. And to be truthful, I was able to sneak in some travel with buddies inside Ethiopia and to Ireland, which also helped the time apart go faster.

Adwa, Tigray

A buddy has been developing a new climbing crag up in northern Tigray, near the city of Adwa, which was home to a decisive and historic battele between the Ethiopians and Italians in 1898.  This battle preserved Ethiopian sovereignty and is celebrated widely in Ethiopia as a crowning achievement for wider African nationalism and autonomy in repelling a colony power.  The terrain in this part of the world is stunning, big red and orange cliffs rising out of dry, mildly undulating terrain.  The climbing was good, until I pulled off a rock seconding my buddy’s first ascent and took a nasty fall.  Thankfully, I am fine and just suffered some cuts and bruise.  No more climbing for us, but we did hike to the top of a mountain that dominates the town of Adwa, with stunning vistas, and purportedly several Italian graves from 1898.

Dublin

I also took advantage of the long holiday weekend (happy anniversary babe) and snuck to Dublin to meet up with a buddy who lives in London.  Having never been to Ireland, I was really excited for the trip.  And it was awesome.  Lots of great times hanging out with Ian, eating and drinking our way around Dublin.  On my last day, before the red eye home to Addis, I went out on the water on a cruise to ports just south and north of the main city.  It felt like Maine at points, which was a fun recall of all the time sailing of the New England coast.  And I got to go on a hike in Howth, to the north of the central part of the city, on these expansive green hills with steep cutaways to the ocean.  It felt like the best parts of the coast in north Marin, just north of San Francisco, which were beloved stomping grounds for your mom and I when we lived in SF. 

Great trips, but not as good as having your mom and you home in Addis.  Welcome home, love bug!

love,

dad

Dear ECS: Happy birthday, sweet girl

Dear ECS,

Happy birthday sweet girl, it is wonderful to watch your excitement and joy about your upcoming birthday.  And now it is here.  You delighted in the plans for the party, in turning three (well sometimes you liked to stretch it to five, but who can blame you on that one?), and the pride you have expressed about being a big girl.

What a year you have had, with the highlight and challenge of moving across the world, into a new culture and country here in Addis and thriving all along the way.   It is not always easy, but you sure make it look easy.  Your mom and I really appreciate, and if we are being honest count on, your flexibility and happiness in being anywhere and everywhere.  I haven’t ever seen a kid so excited about airports, which makes me cringe inside about the carbon impact, but also makes me so proud.  Airports are great because they take us to places we have never been, and even at the tender age of just turned three, you and I are on the same page on that one.

The places we have been over the last year are a robust list of places for a lifetime -- the Seychelles, skiing in Europe and Park City, safari in Kenya, all over the US, Rwanda, London, life in Ethiopia and all the places we have been here.  And through all that, you are ever more happy and precocious.  

As your dad, all the adventure has been a highlight of our year together.  But the joy and delight we have together on a day-to-day basis eclipses all that adventure.  Putting you to bed and having long discussions about how much we love each other, and whether we love each other to the moon AND sun, and back, or to the moon OR sun and back, those are moments that I could never have anticipated before becoming a parent.  

This journey we are on as a family, that you are on as a human, that I am on as a dad, that your mom is on--it is more joyful and wonderful than any of us could have imagined.  Well maybe you had an inkling, you have been so perceptive even as a toddler.

Enjoy your day and  year, can’t wait to see where you go and where we go.

Love,

dad