Dear ECS,
Hey sweetie, hope you are sleeping sweetly tonight. One thing I know is that you are sleeping next to our, almost as sweet as you pup, - Lacy Rose "Rosy". Spring to Summer has been a fun time with birthdays and anniversaries in our house. You turned six, and had a joyful week+ of birthday celebrations. The contrast between 2020 and 2021 really shown through, and all that has transpired from one summer to the next.
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| Photo credit to Rob |
One of the things that has happened was getting Rosy in early August 2020. We picked her up from an idyllic, Amish farm in Hershey, PA. The contrast between the Amish family and her first day in our family going in the car, to our cargo bike and finally on a water taxi out to our house in Maine was a little microcosm of life in the Korol family.
Thankfully, she (and you) have adapted to that pace and semi-chaos so well. Your mom pushed and led us to get Rosy. I had to be convinced, as life seemed busy and bountiful enough to me in the Korol house. But i was SO wrong, Rosy is and has been a superlative addition to our house and community - with a stellar 100% approval rating.
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| Picking up Rosy in PA |
One key part of the joy of our puppy is being social, a trait Rosy has in spades with kiddos, adults and fellow dogs alike. She has led me to have dozens of conversations and connections that would have otherwise gone wanting. Somedays when I pick you up at school there are 8-10 of your schoolmates loving on Rosy. Who doesn’t love cuddling on a bundle of joy and energy?
That is really what I wanted to write about on this missive to you, sweet baby girl. You see, I have been trying to be more present and thoughtful these days, primarily through morning meditation that is a combo of breath retention and mindfulness. It has been a year-long inner journey, and one of those journeys that doesn’t have an end point.
Which comes back to ol’ Rosy (not really old - she just turned 1 year old - but in dog years that is something). Something that Rosy has brought me these months is a re-think about power dynamics. You see, Rosy is a pure beta dog. Asserting dominance is the opposite of Rosy's essence. She is open and loving towards most everything and expects with every bone in her body and neuron in my mind that other dogs and people will reciprocate.
The thing that took me months to realize was how having this openness to the world creates this positive feedback loop, where being beta gets more times playing with dogs big and small. More cuddles with 6 year olds. More runs in the park. More of all the things she loves the most. Day after day, week after week, I see how Rosy orients to the world and that positive feedback loop keeps flowing in the right direction.
So what i have been trying to do, not always successfully, is to take a similar approach. Yes, this type A dad of yours is trying to be more beta. To be more forgiving and understanding of those around us, to our loved ones and dear friends. And it is working, at least I think so. Less abrasive and indignant and entitled. More flexible. And what it seems to me is that, like Rosy, I am getting more of the good parts of life - connecting and fellowship and so much more. Imagine that, being more beta learned from a pup.
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| Photo credit to elle |
Learning from a pup when you are in your 40’s is not something I expected when we got Rosy last year. I figured you would learn a lot from having a dog, like i did when i was your age. And you have learned a ton. But here we are all learning.
love,
dad
