Dear ECS: More. Please.

Dear ECS,

More. Please.

Yes, honey I will do everything i can and what makes sense to get you more.  I promise.  Your favorite phrase for at least the last month has certainly been "More. Please." And that phrase is most assuredly two full one sentences, each half given roughly equal weight.

I love that you want "More" – more food, more water, more hanging upside down while you squeal in delight, more getting thrown onto the coach, more cuddle time, more dancing.  More slides. More wrestling.  More sled runs.  More time with your friends.  More time with your family. More facetime. "More. Please."

I can relate, as I am also a more. please. kind of person.  "More. Please." might be in your DNA.  For example, when you say more. please. after your 3^rd apple when we get home from school, I too enjoy an abundance of apples. 

The last month has been pretty busy, I continue to bear down on learning Amharic, your mom keeps excelling at her job and you have been doing great at school, especially as your vocabulary explodes.  Seemingly every other day, you say a word I didn’t know you had in your vocabulary.  You also now string together short sentence upon sentence, and while it sometimes takes me a few repetitions to get the gist, the words and context are usually accurate.  And your motor skills also are continuing to advance at a prodigious rate, things that used to be hard for you are now old hat. 

Beyond our routines, we have also been quite busy as a family since my last letter. We have hosted great friends from San Francisco and a dear friend from Nassau, who has known you since you were very young.  With our San Fran friends, we ranged all over the city, to the Kennedy Center, Georgetown and the Mall.  

We also squeezed in weekend trips to Winter Park, Colorado and Richmond, Virginia.  The former was with a bunch of Colorado friends including your aunt and uncle and the latter was with friends from DC.   

In Colorado, you went sledding, played outside in the snow and generally seemed like you had spent your whole life in the mountains/winter, even though the bulk of your life has been at 4 feet above sea level in the Bahamas.  For Richmond, you really enjoyed the children’s and adult art museums.  At one, you played with dinosaur bones and played dress up and ‘bought’ us a dinner of lobster and croissants. At the art museum, you danced to live music and pointed out cool sculptures. 

Also want to share a quick update on your bionic momma.  She is now less than 2 months out of surgery for her knee.  She is still going to physical therapy, but in so many ways has obliterated what I thought a normal/possible rehab from acl/mcl surgery entailed.  Just yesterday in Richmond, VA, we went on a 4-mile hike along the scenic James River, and she was carrying you for at least a mile and half of the hike.  Today, she biked home from work.  No skiing or running yet for momma, but I hope her ability to push through and endure is also embedded in your DNA.  I am pretty sure it is.

More. Please.

Love,

dad

Dear ECS: Melding Memories

Dear E.C.S,

Well honey, it has been a bit longer than I had wanted between this letter and the last one.  Sorry!  The Korol family has been pretty busy over the intervening weeks, so my apologies.

This busy month or so has been incredibly fun, especially as you get ever more active and vocal and playful.  One aspect of the our last couple weeks that has been very enjoyable has been getting to share some activities and locations from my own childhood that are seared very positively in my memory .  First, I got to take you 50 or so miles north of DC up to Baltimore, particularly to the national aquarium (https://aqua.org/).  Balto has been an enormous part of my own life, your Baba (your grandmother) grew up in the city.   Your Baba’s mom (Nana) lived there for my entire life.  We took visited Nana at least 2x a year throughout my childhood and I would return regularly to see her as I grew older.

Throughout those trips as a kid, we would invariability visit the National Aquarium that sits majestically on the inner harbor.  Even thirty years ago, this was a special place with so much cool sealife and exhibits. The rainforest exhibit on the top of the aquarium evokes a sensory memory of that air density that is so endemic to the tropics. So up the road we went for a daddy/daughter date to the aquarium.  This day trip exceeded my high expectations and you were an absolute joy.  I loved seeing you patiently waiting to touch the rays and the jelly fish, earnestly watching the sharks and turtles circle the massive main tank, persistently insisting we stay in that very same rainforest 30 years hence and watch a tortoise walk very, very slowly.  Afterwards, all topped off by a nice meal and some fresh Italian cookies.  You came home so happy, a happiness matched by your dad.

The second venerated Korol family location that we ventured to last month was colonial Williamsburg.  I went there years ago for a Thanksgiving, probably when I was about 10 or 11.  The trip remains locked into my memories, including the enchantment of the colonial past, some humorous family moments (most at my expense) and excellent food.   We took the train down to Williamsburg for my birthday, and for my birthday dinner we went to a restaurant (http://www.thetrellis.com/) that is much loved in the collective Korol memories.  It was sublime, but even better than the food was the continuation of a family history, of transmitting even at your tender age some little part of what I think of when I think about family.

You won’t remember these trips – but I will.  And so will your mom.  And we will tell you about them when we talk about your grandmother and your great grandmother.  You don’t have to remember them to have the events internalized into who and what you are, after all.  We are the sum of our collective experiences, including the ones we don’t remember happened. 

These two highlights of the last month are experiences that I hope have shown you a slice of your family.  You were fantastic and joyful and delightful, per usual.  I know you had a great time absent this familial context but having it makes the experiences all the better for you, and for me.

Love,

w

Dear E.C.S. - Momma Fall

Elle,

Hi, this is your dad writing this week/month.  Your mom has taken on the impressive role of sharing the bulk of your first year and a half on this blog – such a monumental effort.  I thought I could help her out some moving forward.

These last several weeks have been quite momentous.  Most recently, you have moved up to an older kids daycare class.  I have been really impressed with how well you have made the adjustment, and most of the days I picked you up during your first week had you wanting to linger in class with your new friends instead of heading right out the door with dad.  Also, you have been giving your friends, and even kids you meet while out a and about with your parents, the most adorable hugs.  Keep that up baby girl, you are doing great.

Before your new class at school, we also took a big family trip to Colorado for the holidays.  This was your second Christmas and we got to spend it with my parents (The babas) and your aunt and uncle (and Maya).  You really enjoyed a 6-1 adult to child ratio, being the belle of the ball in the mountains.  Fun times included open presents for Christmas, which extended into day two for a second consecutive year, and playtime at the impressive Steamboat Springs library. You also really enjoyed going out on the porch and shoveling, a girl with a purpose.  We haven’t spent too much time in cold weather, and many of your mom and dad’s favorite activities take place in the cold, so it was nice to see embracing the weather and having fun in the snow.

The activity I enjoyed the most with you was taking you skiing for the first time.  We went both in our rented house’s backyard and also at the famed Howelsen hill (http://coloradoski.com/resorts/howelsen) right in downtown Steamboat.  The latter is the oldest operating ski mountain in Colorado, open for more than a century.  It has helped train dozens of Olympians and has a wonderful old school vibe of simplicity and skiing purity.  You also really loved their delicious sticky buns.  Me too.  

Apres Ski also came quite naturally

Tony and Wilson  

Lastly, and in not good news – your mom had a ski accident in Steamboat and tore her ACL in her left knee.  She did it on a big powder day, while skiing with your godfather Tony and your dad.  We had a great day, mostly ripping through the abundant glades, with a mix of aspen and conifer trees.  The snow was light and almost as delicious as those sticky buns.  Unfortunately, the visibility was not as good as the skiing and while coming across a meadow area towards the end of the day your mom went off two rollers in a row and came down funny.  Momma fall.

She was a trooper through the entire process, getting sledded off the mountain by the professional and capable Steamboat ski patrol, at the hospital when the doctor told her that she had likely torn her ACL, to doing rehab back at the house within hours of the accident.  She has a brace that combined with her toughness and determination have allowed her to be incredibly mobile.  The contrast in medical approaches to the same injury between when I tore my knee skiing 14 years ago and 2016/2017 is astounding.  This makes me hopefully about where medical technology and developments will head over the coming decades, even in the face of spiraling costs.

So, this means that you will be the only Korol in our household with both original issued ACLs.  I am sorry we likely have bequeathed you some bad knees.  Also, the next several weeks, months will be a bit different as we get used to mom on crutches and being limited.  She will do great through that and get strong and whole quickly.  You will do great too, being the light of her life and the primary reason she wants to get better as soon as possible.

love,

dad 

Dear E.C.S: 2016 In Review

Dear E.C.S.,

I love the end and start of a year because it is about completion and beginnings. It provides space to reflect about the past year and think what reinventions and adventures will occur in the new year.

So to reflect on this past year, I thought I would be a top 10.   A top 10 of what?  I don’t really know…I guess, things that stick out. 

I told Wilson about doing a top 10 and his reaction:

“That’s a lot to think about.”

He’s right, so here’s my top 5

5.  Transition period between jobs

In mid-July,  I had a couple of weeks at the end of my job and between jobs to spend time with Elle one-on-one in the Bahamas and take a mommy-daughter trip to Colorado and Utah to see a ton of family and friends.   It was incredible to savor the time with Elle before we left our home in the Bahamas and then also get to see so many lifetime friends throughout Colorado and Utah.  

4.  Movement

2016 has been another year of movement in the Korol household.  Per the usual.  Whether seeing family and friends in NYC or skiing in Utah and France or swimming off different shores in the Bahamas, we were constantly on the move.    It was thrilling, exhausting, and probably because 2016 never gave Elle much predictability, she still isn’t sleeping through the night…hopefully soon.

3.  Gratitude

While globally, 2016 felt like a terrible year – humanitarian crises (Syria, South Sudan, Congo, etc.), terrorist attacks (Pulse nightclub, Bastille Day, Berlin Christmas Market, etc.), personally I am grateful. 

In this blog, I have repeatedly written about my gratitude for our lives and for every day that sickness and harm does not befall us.  That is a daily thought, one that centers my experience as a mother and wife and friend and family member. 

2. My new job

This one relates to #3 - I am so incredibly happy to be working in the international development field.  Whether my organization is helping alleviate drought and famine for millions in Ethiopia or supporting Syrian humanitarian interventions or encouraging both domestic or international small business development, I feel so lucky to work to support these efforts while providing for my family.

1.  You- Elle Catherine Sarah Korol

Elle Catherine Sarah Korol, you were born in a year 2015 when 1 out of 8 babies was born in conflict. I am so thankful and grateful you, and we, do not live in conflict.  You have brought us so much joy and peace - beyond my ability to describe on a daily basis. You bring so much light to our lives that it is hard to conceive of the year when you won’t be the highlight.  

love, 
mom

Dear E.C.S.: staples of life

Dear E.C.S., 

Despite the heartbreak that I wrote about in the last blog post, life goes on and the staples of life sustain us... sleep, food and water, and friends and family...

Sleep

Since April 2015 (when I was 9 months pregnant with you), I think that I maybe have gotten 5 nights of a continuous 8 hour sleep--and the majority of those were probably when I was still 9 months pregnant.  Most of the time, my sleep has been interrupted by intervals to nurse you or worry about you.   Thus, sleep and going to bed has become an obsession.

The funny thing is that this obsession was completely displaced when celebrating my friend at her surprise 40^th birthday party.   I completely surprised myself by hanging out with friends until 4 am.  It was like I was in my 20s again instead of a stodgy 38 year old seeking a 9:15 pm bedtime.

I appreciated this miraculous burst of energy....

Food and Water

A few days after sleep deprived night, the extended Korol family visited us for Thanksgiving.  And once again, I felt so grateful for abundance of food and happiness and the celebration of that abundance every fourth Thursday in November.    

However for some, Thanksgiving is darkened by reflecting on the history that Native Americans have endured.  

Friends

A week after the Thanksgiving holidays, we took a quick weekend trip to Maine  to see your dad’s (Wilson's) friends from childhood.  It is pretty special to see friends that Wilson has adored for more than 30 years.   He has many old friends who he has known since he was 4 years old.  I admire Wilson's continuous friendships since pre-school days.  

This is one of my biggest concerns for you, my daughter, that you will feel that you have continuous friendships like your dada.  However, you already have friends from some of our dearest friends (whether 30 year or 10 year friendships) and so am hopeful that your global friendships will span the decades like your dad’s neighborhood friendships have.

Staples of life...sleep, food and water, and friends and family...

Love,

Mom