B.A.B.E. Week 34: Many firsts and bests of the Bahamas

This week has been an exciting one.  First Christmas!  Wow, it was terrific to experience Christmas with Elle and see her surrounded by loved ones as we celebrated the holidays.  Simple things like trying to capture her fascination with the wrapping paper kept us entertained for hours. 

Other firsts? First time getting to sitting position by herself!   Her grandparents put her down for a nap and then went in to check on her and there she was -- sitting up.  Pretty happy with herself, as well. And this week, we also had the first bites while nursing...not quite as happy.

These firsts (mostly good) were while surrounded by her loving grandparents and great aunts.   And the third generation up from Elle are so impressive with their thirst for exploration and adventure.  The third generation is not as young as many families.  (E.g., some people are grandmas at MY age) but they can not only play on the floor with Elle for hours, they are also exploring parts of the island that I have never seen. This prompted me to focus purely on Exploration for this blog post.   Where are the BEST places that I have seen in the Bahamas and what is on my to do list.

Best Island

The Bahamas has 700 islands but the majority of the population lives on the island (New Providence) and in the city (Nassau) where we live.   The other islands are called "family" islands and only 20 or so are populated.  Of the "family" islands, I have been to five:  Grand Bahamas, Eleuthera, Harbour Island, Bimini, and Exumas.  The Exumas was my favorite -- the beaches and water were gorgeous, the food was excellent, and it had some interesting historical spots like where a slave named Pompey led a rebellion of 70+ slaves.   That said, Harbour Island comes in at a very close second.  It is a pretty charming place where golf carts are the main form of transportation and its long pink sands beach is world famous. 

Best Local Food (for Nassau)

A big thing in the Bahamas are "fish fries" -- many small (and big) restaurants lined up in a row, which sell local Bahamian fare such as fried fish.  Our favorite Bahamian fare comes from the fish fry and a restaurant within there called "Oh Andros."  At Oh Andros, the conch fritters, conch salad, and spicy fish filet dinner are wonderful.   And these two appetizers and meal can easily feed three people if not four.  It is a deal in the Bahamas where deals are usually few and far between. 

Best Food (for Nassau)

We think that the best food is at a place called the Mahogany House.  It is part of a greater complex with a wine and snacks boutique, another restaurant, Shima, a coffee shop and boutique luxe hotel.  We spend a lot of our time (and money) there.  That said, there are other places on the island, which I would like to try, such as Cafe Matisse.  The problem is that, especially with a baby, it is so much easier to go back to a favorite place rather than try something new...

Best Natural Area (for Nassau)

This is another superlative where I am not 100% confident in my answer because I have recently found out that there are some natural areas that I haven't been to- such as the Primeval Forest.  Notwithstanding my hesitation, I don't think that the Primeval Forest or other natural areas can really give Clifton Park a run for its money.  Clifton has it all -- great snorkeling, history, art, and trail running.

Best Coffee (for Nassau)

The coffee shop in the complex where the best food is also has the best coffee shop -- the Coffee Bar.  The Coffee Bar has great decaf almond milk lattes -- a must for me as a nursing mama of a milk-sensitive daughter.  It also has an incredible ambiance as it overlooks a gorgeous pool.

Best Pool Experience (for Nassau)

The new infinity pool at the One and Only Beach Club is pretty incredible.  We discovered it when our friend got us day passes to hang out at the One and Only -- where Casino Royale was filmed.

Best Beach (for Nassau)

My local beach is pictured below when my sister came to visit.  Even though our local beach can sometimes be crowded with sea grass (or even trash), I love it because it is so beautiful, so close and so long (1.5 miles long).  I also have such great memories of wonderful sunsets and sea turtle popping their heads above the surface of the water.

Best Local Island Trip (for Nassau)

I know of 3 local island trips: Rose Island, Barefoot Sailing Cruises, and Blue Lagoon Island.   I think that the best local island trip for diversity of experience and value is Blue Lagoon Island because there is a water park, snorkeling, and animal options (seeing dolphins and sea lions).   That said, we have only taken guests to Blue Lagoon Island once and have taken guests to Rose Island probably more than 10 times.  Rose Island is often more attractive to adult guests to because it has gorgeous white sands beaches, has a hopping bar scene, and is less expensive at $25 per head for locals.  (I haven't been out on Barefoot Sailing Cruises but at $120 for a half-day, it is significantly more expensive).

Best Snorkeling (for Nassau)

This is another one where I need to do more exploring.   For me, the best snorkeling here is in Clifton Park where there is both quality reef and an 18 foot statue - the largest underwater statue in the world.  That said, Clifton happens to be right by where a lot of the island's fuel comes in so the reef in the park is somewhat degraded from oil spills among other things.  Thus, it isn't perfect and I have heard of a lot of tales of fantastic snorkeling so I want to explore other places and see if I can find better reef.  I have heard that there is great reef on the little islands ("cays") around Nassau.   So more exploring to be done...

B.A.B.E. Week 33: First time away and regretting a workout

This week's pictures entirely rely on Wilson because I took hardly any pictures.   Part of my decrease in photos is that I was away from Elle for 3 nights.  It was the first time that I had been away from Elle since she was born and it was hard.  But it was like ripping off a bandaid hard (or plucking eyebrow hairs) -- really painful at first and then just sort of achy afterwards.  The painful part was the first 12 hours -- the remaining 60 or so hours were ok.  The separation and dread of separation hurt a lot but then after facetimes and photos, I felt a lot better.  It also helped tremendously that Wilson's parents were there so Elle was surrounded by her dad, her nanny, and her grandparents.   All people who love her.

And Elle actually seemed pretty non-plussed by me being away.  When I saw her for the first time after the 3 days away, she had just woken up from a nap.  She looked up at me from her crib and smiled at me like "oh, of course you are here.  so glad to see you."  She seemed so calm and, even, thrilled to be with her dada and grandparents.  And I was thrilled to hold her in my arms again.  After getting back she has started to try to "sing along" to the sleepy time lullabies and I love hearing her "ahs" to match my croons.

I was away from Elle because I was working from my org's DC headquarters this past week. It was really great to be in the office after such a long absence.  I hadn't been in the office since August when I came back from maternity leave.   And it was so wonderful to re-connect in person with my work friends and colleagues.  The wonders of tech enable us to have globally diverse teams but there is still something special about sharing the same physical space.  As I blogged about last week, having that touch time feels so satisfying and, I think, is important to maintaining and growing relationships.

And other aspects of B.A.B.E.dom? Working from DC didn't too much for my fitness.  But I continue to limp along.  Not sure when I will really kick into gear or what that even means.  Life is so busy and tiring for so many of us that maybe we should just be proud of ourselves when we "squeeze" in a workout.  And I certainly did that today...but to my regret.

I regret my "squeezed" in workout today because at the last minute, I decided to run to a dinner party rather than be normal and show up presentable.  Instead, I showed up super sweaty.  It was much more humid than I expected and I was literally a hot mess.  The reason that I initially thought that this was a good decision was because Wilson was playing tennis at this said dinner party...so I thought he gets to be sweaty, why can't I?

And where was Elle?  She was with Wilson's family at the dinner party.  So instead of being with Elle and our hosts, I had decided that if Wilson gets to exercise, I should too... Ugh my obsession with equality and exercise led to an awkward conclusion.

That said, Wilson's family and our hosts were extremely gracious at humoring my awkward decision but I decided that next time, I may just opt to be normal and not squeeze in the run...

B.A.B.E. Week 32: My Work Situation

At 7 and half months, Elle amazes me with everything she knows.   She laughs at different antics, is starting to understand “no”s, and has even learned how to push elevator buttons (I think).  I had no concept of how much her perception of life at such a young age can influence my own perception.   Right now, we are starting to use sign language to understand her ideas and thoughts more fully.   Our efforts have been somewhat haphazard but I am hopeful that she will start to be able to communicate some things to us and also understand more fully what we are saying.

Communication is a skill that I have had to hone (and am still honing) as a lawyer.    Currently, I work full-time remotely as a climate litigation and policy attorney.  Working remotely may sound like the dream gig, especially from the Bahamas (see pic below of me working by a pool -- unfortunately I usually DON’T do that.)   But in many ways working remotely can be a drag.  Below, I list the reasons why.   As well as why telecommuting (especially as a mother) is also a luxury.

Ways that working from home is drag

• Making up work at night and during the weekends.

Working remotely means that when you aren’t working during work time, then you really aren’t working.  In an office, you can justify “non-work” like making coffee or heading out to grab lunch.  At home that justification dissipates because it is your home and thus, for me, it is more clear when I am not working. 

The distinction between work and non-work means that I often work on nights and weekends.  Working at nights and on weekends isn’t terrible because let’s face it, as professional Americans, many of us work more than 40 hours per week and thus many of us work nights and weekends.   That said, I wish that I was better at getting my work done during the day so that I didn’t have the work hanging over me all week.

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• Increases the temptation to be the "perfect" mom and "perfect" employee but feeling like I am doing neither well. 

Most of my friends have talked about the struggle of being both a good mom/wife as well as a good employee.    I feel that struggle acutely when I am tempted to do “home” stuff like plan meals or be with my daughter rather than get my work done.  This struggle is a difficult one and led one of my friends to give me some key points of advice:  (1) if I wouldn’t do an action at work, then I shouldn’t be doing at home during work hours; and (2) since I would breastpump at work rather than directly breastfeed, then I should be pumping rather than feeding.   These 2 pieces of advice have helped a lot.

 Ways that working from home is a luxury

• Not dealing with all the logistics of being a breastfeeding working mother

As I have blogged about before, being a breastfeeding mother from an office is not easy.  You have to bring the whole apparatus with you, store and wash parts to the apparatus, store milk, find a place to pump, and find time to wash everything, put everything together, pump, take everything apart, etc.   Much nicer to pump or feed at home on my own terms.

• No commute and no getting out of the house lag-time

Since I telecommute, I don’t have to go into an office and I don’t really have to get myself and my child ready for the day.  Prior to having a child, I didn’t realize that getting out of the house with a baby can be such an enormous struggle.  You have to get yourself and your child ready as your child often has a very different agenda from either of the above.  Also, you have to pack everything your child needs – diapers, food, special toys, wipes, change of clothes, pacificers, etc.  It is a lot of work that has to be done every day if both you and the child head out the door.

I also assumed that you would get childcare for a 40-hour workweek.  This assumption was naïve as many people I know commute at least 30 minutes each way to get to work.   Add in the fact that you have to drop your child off at the childcare provider, and you are often looking at 50 hours of childcare per week.  Working remotely cuts out that extra 10 hours of expense, but more importantly not getting to see your child for 50 or so hours per week. 

• Getting to see the BABE

This is a HUGE perk of telecommuting with a nanny at home.  It is the best part of my work situation that I get to see my daughter for quick kisses throughout the day.  It isn’t always easy – like when I can hear her crying (and especially if she is crying for me).  But it is the most amazing part of working from home and cancels out any negative parts.

So even though I didn’t really have a chance of going to the Paris UN negotiations, I am extremely grateful that I get to touch and hold my daughter during the day and don’t have to count the minutes of a commute to get home to her, or rush out of work to get to the daycare before their deadline.

B.A.B.E. Week 31: Where is the time going?

Chilling at the infinity pool

When I was in the Peace Corps, I didn’t realize that life could be so boring.  Without the constant buzz of electricity and its accoutrements, there is a lot more time in the day.   Nowadays, we are all so busy that the time just rolls and rolls and rolls.   This week was not different—it has rolled past with so many great events.

At the Atlantis aquarium

A lot of events this week.  

• Elle’s first tooth broke completely through (on the bottom right side);

• Elle turned 7 months old;

• Elle decorated her first Christmas tree;

• Elle’s “twin” visited – a great friend from London brought her baby to play with Elle and everyone kept asking if they were twins…J; and

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We had our first family pool day (a fair amount of beach days up to this point but this week, we had our first laze around a pool day…)

All this while I continue to work full-time and am on a “new” exercise challenge.  My friend and I completed approximate 100 days of planking and now am on a new challenge (with a new google spreadsheet) of a calisthenics exercise that builds.  I really like the building aspect of it but as I alluded to earlier, it is hard to find the time.

Time – what a precious commodity we have and here in the Bahamas, I feel so grateful for each day of it.  I feel really grateful even when it rains all day or I don’t get all my work done, or am staying up too late or getting up too early.  I am so grateful because my basic needs (and more) are fulfilled, and most importantly, I get to hear my daughter’s squeals of delight and watch her learn that eating food is often a fantastic activity.

This week, Elle has been laughing harder and more frequently.  She is also learning that she sort of likes the weird stuff that we keep shoving in her mouth.  And she most definitely likes playing with other babies.  She kept kissing and loving on her friend here in the Bahamas (2 mos older) and her twin (1 mo younger).

When Elle was a couple days old, I couldn’t imagine her as a 7 month old and now, with the inevitable march of time, here we are.  Time is rolling but we are rolling with it.

B.A.B.E. Week 30: Sleep continues to devolve & schedule take 2

Elle on her first swing ride!

Last week I wrote about how I may not start a schedule for 3 more weeks…well I have changed my mind.   This past week has been fun but Elle is more tired than ever.  On the fun side, over Thanksgiving, we went to Grand Cayman island (a British territory) and Elle is enthralled with the world.  On the tired side, Elle has been crankier than her normal happy self, which I attribute to not getting enough sleep.

Despite a little crankiness, this past week was super fun for Elle as we drove around Grand Cayman and had great beach time with her dad.  We also stayed with some friends – a really wonderful family with the girls  (ages 7 and 9).  All three girls were loving with each other and as a bonus, the family has a basset hound named Bruno.   A gentle slobbery dog who let the older two girls 'abuse' him when he was a baby so I felt safe allowing Elle do the same.  We tried to teach her to gently pet Bruno but she still loved to grab his hair and squeal with delight.

All this stimulation has led Elle down the path of not getting her 14 hours of needed sleep per day.  So…even with more travel coming up and a full docket of work and guests back to a schedule.   

Here’s my proposal for a schedule:

Eating: 7:30 am, 11:30, 3:30, 7:30

Sleeping: 9:30 am, 2:00, 4:30.

Night time: 9 pm-6:30am

Here’s how it actually went from Monday night to Tuesday night:

Eating

We were able to get Elle to eat roughly at the scheduled times (except nursing late at night or early in the morning).   Elle ate some banana in the morning, carrots for lunch, and rice cereal for late afternoon in addition to breast milk.   We went out to dinner and so we stuffed Elle with rice cereal in the late afternoon before going out to dinner.  Elle surprised us by how much rice cereal she ate (had to refill her bowl four times).  

In her eating schedule, there are few extra notes.   The first is that eating at a specific time means that she starts eating sometime around then.  And then that eating can go for  an hour or so between breastfeeding and putting solids in her mouth.  This happened in an extreme manner when I nursed her at 3:10 after waking from a nap.  She immediately went back to sleep and didn’t consume her large amounts of cereal until 4:10 when she re-awoke from her nap.

Sleeping

In accordance with the schedule, Elle did roughly sleep 9 hours Monday night – in our bed with occasional wake-ups to feed.  She then slept from 9:30-10, 12-12:20 (just fell asleep playing on the floor), 2-3:10, 3:20-4, 6:30-8, 9pm bedtime again.  Roughly adding up to 13.5 hours.  

We are trying the “schedule” again today but will modify the second feeding time to 11:15 am and nap time to 1 pm so that she can actually get that 4:30 nap in and won’t be so tired.   With the schedule, Elle seemed much happier but maybe it is also just being at home again… we are loving being home and having  more close friends visiting us.