B.A.B.E. Week 32: My Work Situation

At 7 and half months, Elle amazes me with everything she knows.   She laughs at different antics, is starting to understand “no”s, and has even learned how to push elevator buttons (I think).  I had no concept of how much her perception of life at such a young age can influence my own perception.   Right now, we are starting to use sign language to understand her ideas and thoughts more fully.   Our efforts have been somewhat haphazard but I am hopeful that she will start to be able to communicate some things to us and also understand more fully what we are saying.

Communication is a skill that I have had to hone (and am still honing) as a lawyer.    Currently, I work full-time remotely as a climate litigation and policy attorney.  Working remotely may sound like the dream gig, especially from the Bahamas (see pic below of me working by a pool -- unfortunately I usually DON’T do that.)   But in many ways working remotely can be a drag.  Below, I list the reasons why.   As well as why telecommuting (especially as a mother) is also a luxury.

Ways that working from home is drag

• Making up work at night and during the weekends.

Working remotely means that when you aren’t working during work time, then you really aren’t working.  In an office, you can justify “non-work” like making coffee or heading out to grab lunch.  At home that justification dissipates because it is your home and thus, for me, it is more clear when I am not working. 

The distinction between work and non-work means that I often work on nights and weekends.  Working at nights and on weekends isn’t terrible because let’s face it, as professional Americans, many of us work more than 40 hours per week and thus many of us work nights and weekends.   That said, I wish that I was better at getting my work done during the day so that I didn’t have the work hanging over me all week.

Add caption

• Increases the temptation to be the "perfect" mom and "perfect" employee but feeling like I am doing neither well. 

Most of my friends have talked about the struggle of being both a good mom/wife as well as a good employee.    I feel that struggle acutely when I am tempted to do “home” stuff like plan meals or be with my daughter rather than get my work done.  This struggle is a difficult one and led one of my friends to give me some key points of advice:  (1) if I wouldn’t do an action at work, then I shouldn’t be doing at home during work hours; and (2) since I would breastpump at work rather than directly breastfeed, then I should be pumping rather than feeding.   These 2 pieces of advice have helped a lot.

 Ways that working from home is a luxury

• Not dealing with all the logistics of being a breastfeeding working mother

As I have blogged about before, being a breastfeeding mother from an office is not easy.  You have to bring the whole apparatus with you, store and wash parts to the apparatus, store milk, find a place to pump, and find time to wash everything, put everything together, pump, take everything apart, etc.   Much nicer to pump or feed at home on my own terms.

• No commute and no getting out of the house lag-time

Since I telecommute, I don’t have to go into an office and I don’t really have to get myself and my child ready for the day.  Prior to having a child, I didn’t realize that getting out of the house with a baby can be such an enormous struggle.  You have to get yourself and your child ready as your child often has a very different agenda from either of the above.  Also, you have to pack everything your child needs – diapers, food, special toys, wipes, change of clothes, pacificers, etc.  It is a lot of work that has to be done every day if both you and the child head out the door.

I also assumed that you would get childcare for a 40-hour workweek.  This assumption was naïve as many people I know commute at least 30 minutes each way to get to work.   Add in the fact that you have to drop your child off at the childcare provider, and you are often looking at 50 hours of childcare per week.  Working remotely cuts out that extra 10 hours of expense, but more importantly not getting to see your child for 50 or so hours per week. 

• Getting to see the BABE

This is a HUGE perk of telecommuting with a nanny at home.  It is the best part of my work situation that I get to see my daughter for quick kisses throughout the day.  It isn’t always easy – like when I can hear her crying (and especially if she is crying for me).  But it is the most amazing part of working from home and cancels out any negative parts.

So even though I didn’t really have a chance of going to the Paris UN negotiations, I am extremely grateful that I get to touch and hold my daughter during the day and don’t have to count the minutes of a commute to get home to her, or rush out of work to get to the daycare before their deadline.