B.A.B.E. Week 37: Recovering from a red-eye and co-sleeping

This past week has seen further development in Elle's socializing and physical skills.   She can now stand while grasping onto a chair or something else sturdy.  We have to stay right there to spot her when she loses balance but it is fun to see the delight she has in standing supported by an inanimate object.  She is also making different sounds -- sounds that seem like words such as "Mum" and "Hi!".  Not sure if these are actually her first vocal words yet, but it is fun to think that she is starting to communicate with us.  The range of sounds emanating from her delightful mouth seem to grow materially each of the last several weeks.

 Luckily her happy communication often drowns out her distressed communication.  This was especially helpful as we were all pretty miserable taking a red eye from Utah to the Bahamas via a 3 hour stop in Miami.   Our flight left Utah at 1:30 am and arrived in Florida around 8 am local time (5 am Utah time), and 3 hours later we hopped over to Nassau.   Elle slept some pre-departure, on the plane (with short bouts of crying at the uncomfortableness of it), in the airport in Florida, and on the flight from Florida to the Bahamas.   But the sleep was very interrupted, so when we arrived home yesterday, there was a lot of sleeping to be done.

Yesterday, Elle had a 2.5 hour nap until 5 pm.   Then went to bed again at 6:15 pm.   Then she woke up again around 9 pm, was up for about an hour, and then slept in our bed.   From 10 pm - 7am, I know she woke up a couple of times but it was all a blur to me because I was so tired from the red-eye.   Talking about being tired and co-sleeping is scary.   Scary primarily because I don't want to risk Elle's safety by being over tired.  That said, I felt that the risk is very low or else I wouldn't have her sleep in the bed with us.

The reason that I think the risk to Elle is very low is because human beings have been co-sleeping with their children for millennia.   I also think that she is a big girl at 8 and 1/2 months and can roll and push up easily.  I also try to "childproof" the bed by having a very firm mattress, a light blanket, and pushing the bed against the wall with pillows pushed into the crack to prevent Elle from rolling off or getting caught in the crack.   

Am I overjoyed that Elle occasionally sleeps in the night in the bed with us?  No.   But would I rather have her sleep in the bed with us then fight an overtired battle for the both of us?  Yes.   Have we been working on ending the co-sleeping ever since it started (around four months)?  Yes.    Will we succeed with Elle in a portacrib at the foot of our bed?  Who knows?  Will we succeed for the rest of her toddler/childhood years?  Who knows?  I know many people who have struggled with kids wanting to sleep in their beds for years.  And I know people who have refused to have their kids in their beds with them ever and have gone through the hard struggle to accomplish it.   I am just not sure that we, personally, want to engage that struggle.

Being in the in-between can be tough - sometimes it feels like you have both the positives and other times both the negatives of the more absolute poles of whatever spectrum you inhabit. For us, living in the ad hoc in-between of Elle's sleeping schedule and norms fits that dynamic to a T.  I love parts of co-sleeping, the cuddling, side-nursing, and the contentment Elle demonstrates so strongly.  I also love those nights when she sleeps  in one of her cribs blissfully.  The thing is, I want to have both of them - just in moderation.

But babies can struggle in the in-between, the limbo, the ad hoc.  It takes decades to understand that the world is really, truly grey and not black and white. Elle is still working out what the colors black and white are visually, so their use in a metaphor is going to be a bridge too far.  Maybe next week???