B.A.B.E. Week 4 – when does normal start?

I thought that by now, things would feel more “normal” – whatever that means.  But I still feel like I haven’t quite caught up or established a pattern that feels repeatable and normal. Maybe that is because we aren’t at home yet, or maybe because of the mastitis and some other health issues, or maybe my expectations were unrealistic. Regardless of the reason, my respect for mothers (especially those with older children or multiples or those who have to go back to work within the first month) continues to grow.  

Updates for this week:

 BABY –

Elle is really absorbed by looking out windows and outside but she doesn’t particularly enjoy walks outside in the baby carrier. (We’re working on the walks). Elle also loves looking at ceiling fans – I swear that she sometimes gives them a contented half-smile. Really a favorite thing! Elle’s single minded focus of staring outside or at ceiling fans can sometimes be disconcerting as an adult; I am not used to how newborn infants can wide-eyed stare for long periods of time. But apparently, this is normal.

The other development of this week has been how we have taken a shine to the pacifier. At first, we were hesitant about using a pacifier because of “nipple” confusion. We also didn’t want her to take the pacifier when she was actually hungry. Those qualms dissipated after we realized that she often did want to continue to suckle even after the milk was long gone. And even more compelling was how an upsetting buckling in to a carseat became bearable.

Finally, the most exciting thing that I forgot to blog about at Week 3 is how it is now clear that she knows people’s voices. Or at least we have seen her recognize me and Wilson. She will move her head towards our voices and, if I am not careful, my voice can derail an afternoon nap with her dad.

ASPIRATION-

With a little babysitting help from Wilson’s parents (Neny and Baba), I was able to finish a work project that was hanging over my head. So happy to have that done and with only one more thing to do, I am ready to really fully embrace maternity leave. But there always seems like some more things to think about, and since that has been our temperament on these whirlwind last 2.5 years it feels natural. A bit depressing, but slightly depressingly natural.

BODY-

Ugh to body this week – still sporting a pooch. But on the bright side, my health is good.  No more mastitis (although am still on antibiotics) and eating lots of fresh fruits and vegetables.   Fresh fruits (especially berries) can be in short supply in the Bahamas.

EXPLORATION-

This week has been a very sad travel week. And Sunday was the hardest part of this diplomat lifestyle because Elle and I had to say goodbye to Wilson on Sunday.  Saying goodbye and this separation feels so much more acute than any of our other frequent goodbyes in the past 9 months.   In the past 9 months, Wilson and I have been often separated but it hit me much harder this time.   It feels so different to have  Elle-- this piece of our heart outside of us and not be together.   So it was a little teary on Sunday when Wilson went to the Bahamas without Elle and I.  We can’t g yet because we have to get a diplomatic passport for Elle and we both need to be medically cleared before the State department allows us to fly back. Thus, the three of will probably be separated for 10 days to 2 weeks before finally settling home.