Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Dear ECS: A Blissful Skipping Thanksgiving in Cyprus


Dear ECS, 


Greetings honey, you have just fallen asleep after we are back home from Thanksgiving in Cyprus.  We are quite confident that you have had a wonderful time in Cyprus as your preferred mode of movement has been skipping, a visually endearing perfect manifestation of your happiness expressed in movement.  It is a shorthand to know if you are happy, as skipping only comes out when you are feeling joy.  And in Cyprus you  skipped to the beach, to the restaurant, to the fort, to the gelato spot, to everywhere. 

Why did we go to Cyprus?  Great question, and the answer is pretty simple - because it is close, intriguing and new.  Perhaps even simpler, because it is there to explore and we don’t know what it is like.  Your mom and I have really loved these attributes in our travels, especially as you have blessed our family with your light and energy and joy.  


Going to places -- that we would in all probability never go to if we lived in the US-- is one of my favorite parts of life overseas.  Since now, or in the recent past, we are most of the way to Cyprus, or to the myriad of cool destinations in Egypt, to the Ethiopian highlands and rock churches, to the Seychelles, to the Kenyan coast and to the Cayman Islands, why not go see what they are like?  And we have.


Cyprus is a little bit like the Bahamas in that it receives several orders of magnitude more visitors than it has residents.  This leads to an economy that is heavily dependent on tourism, which can be challenging, but it also tends to lead to a good experience as a visitor.  The infrastructure and ethos are sort of set up for you to have a good time and for the place to be accessible, at least superficially.  

So what did we get up to in Cyprus, which we loved? Well it was Thanksgiving, and we have much to be thankful for this year with our move to a new country, the dozens of loved ones we saw as we jetted around the U.S. this summer, the weddings we have been to for our family and friends, our gorgeous new apartment, you thriving in French school, me doing well in Arabic and mommy continuing to love her job.  Yes, so much to be thankful for this year. 


In the tradition of the holiday, we had a few feasts of bounty and plenty.  In aligning with the specialty of Cyprus, these feasts were seafood for your parents, and tended towards pasta and ice cream for you.  So, everyone was very happy.  Almost next door to our rental apartment, there was this ridiculous seafood taverna, Psarolimano,  that we ate at a couple of times, which your mom dubbed “Cyprus Street and Co,” an homage to my favorite restaurant in the world located in Portland, Maine.  One I have been going to for decades, so high praise indeed.

Beyond the holiday-appropriate feasting on the bounty of local seafood, we had a lot of wonderful whole family time on the beach, eating ice cream and biking along the boardwalk.  One highlight was exploring Laranca Castle, a fort built to defend the port and coast more than 600 years ago.  As the city changed hands between various world powers over the intervening centuries, it has gone though cyclical periods of decay and renewal, being important for trade and then falling off as the trade winds shifted, only to rise again.  This cycle has taken place at least three times, and I was moved by both history repeating itself and the human bent towards improving and renewal, two traits I try to live, and to instill in your impressionable psyche.


Your mom and I also got to go on a number of epic trail runs along a large salt lake with flamingos and millenniums of history.  I loved these runs, for the brisk, clean air and expansive vistas.  Salt lakes always have the most amazing reflections, which must be tied to the salt content of the water somehow, and this visual trick was enhanced by the flamingos that call the salt lake home for the winter.  Hundreds of the majestic birds dotted the lake, gorging on the pink salt shrimp that give them their distinctive color.  Running on the trails and dirt roads around the lake reminded me of several places we have traveled and/or lived, such as Northern California and southern Australia.  I love that connection of places thousands of miles apart, that they can be visually or cultural similar despite vastly different human and geologic histories. 

And now we are back home, in our apartment and at our schools/jobs.  This is good too, not as special as exploring new places and finding them more charming and enjoyable than we ever would have hoped.  But special all the same and comfortable in a way the belies our relatively short time in this new city and country.

Much love to our loved ones around the world - a very happy Thanksgiving and on to a hopefully wonderful holiday season. 

love, 
dad


Sunday, November 24, 2019

Dear ECS: Postcard from Cairo


Dear ECS, 

Hey honey, hope you are doing well today.  Well, I know you are doing well, but you know what I mean.  It has been a bit longer than I had hoped since I wrote about our respective langue learning, which continues to move forward with progress for you, and me.  


Some of why I have been a bit longer is due to travel to the US for you, mom and me.  We had the pleasure of being part of two separate weddings, you and mom in Utah for a family wedding and me in Maine for friends’ wedding. It is never fun to be apart from you and mom for as long as we were, but separation happens in our life and lifestyle and I have found it is best to just roll with it as opposed to fighting it.  Not worth fighting what you can’t change, after all.  


In addition to the big trips back home to the US, I also got to sneak down to the Red Sea for a weekend with some friends and their kids.  It is amazing that this epic, grand nature combo of beach/water is so close to our new city- less than 90 minutes from our apartment to the hotel.  Yes, we will be going back as a family soon and yes, we will be making that drive quite a few times in the coming years. 

So close and enjoyable that we all snuck down there for a few days this last weekend with friends visiting from Ethiopia.  Going with you and mom was just as good as my first time down there, with the bonus of playing with you in delight in the Sea and in the sand.  The juxtaposition of the ocean with snorkeling and open water swimming and the big cliffs was just as good the second time.  And then the day after we came back home, we went to the pyramids together for your first trip to those wonders of the ancient world, and any world on this earth.  Revered and famous for a reason.



What I thought I would tell you about in this letter is the ongoing, but close to the finish line, process of moving in to our space.  This is your fourth country, fourth home in your life.  By the time I had lived in four homes, I was 14 years old.  So this kind fog churn is something that you are used to and have had to get used to.  And I think you are probably better at it than your mom and I, it is your native environment whereas we have had to learn it as adults.  Similar to learning languages, now that I connect those two. 


We got our biggest shipment of stuff, the things we had in Ethiopia, about 10 days ago.  So we are just waiting on one last set of stuff from Maine.  But really, our keystone things are here and in our place.  We even have our art up on the walls as of a few days ago, which for me is the final step of the settling in process.  That said, living overseas means that you are never fully settled in, so it is more accurate to say it is the final stage of the initial settling.  

It has been about a six or seven month process from our Addis departure to our present in Cairo.  Which feels simultaneously fast and slow.  Fast for the massive changes in our life, for all the things and places and people that we have done and seen in this time.  It also seems slow because we have been here in this new city for long enough to have routine, to have built community and to have it feel like home.  This paradox gets to the challenge your parents have felt, living that duality can be tiring.  At least it is for me.


Which gets to a related truth I have learned via our life of movement, that the mental work and challenges can easily be harder on me than the physical work.  Putting stuff away is easy, creating durable, sustainable systems from scratch is hard.  Hanging art on our walls is easy, especially when the embassy makes it happen, is easy, figuring out what goes where, that is hard part. 



So what is next for the Cairo Korol’s?  More of the same, with more living and working and less moving and settling.  Life here continues to be exciting and fun and engaging.  You are super happy with your school, friends, activities and our house.  Mom and I feel the same about our lives here.  Being in the living part of the move, at the end of the many months of moving and movement, honestly can feel a little unsettling.  Like, what do we do now?  

What we do is live and love.  Onward! 

love,
dad



Friday, October 4, 2019

Dear ECS: So much language in Cairo



Dear ECS,

Hey honey, you are sleeping sweetly as I write this, and I am not sure what language you are dreaming.  It is probably English, but sometimes it seems like you are dreaming in French.  Maybe it is a mix of the two languages, with maybe a sprinkling of Arabic or Amharic thrown in just to get extra confusing.  Whatever the composition, I know you are making it work in your mind and in your communications.  And sleep well honey.


It has been a busy month+, per usual, for the korol family.  I was thinking earlier today how we haven’t gotten on an airplane for like 7 whole weeks.  And it will be another 2-3 weeks before we get on a plane, which has to be a record for our family over the last four years.  A climate-guilt inducing record, for sure, and also a positive reflection of how happy we are to be here in Cairo. 

So what have we been doing with ourselves?  Great question.  Thus far our meta-theme here in Cairo seems to have been language.  Just in the last couple of days there has been language learning for three languages across our household.  And you are leading the charge, increasing your knowledge, dexterity and fluidity in multiple languages on an ongoing basis.  Yes, I am very proud dad.


French: First off, your French school has re-started and you are back in that immersive environment every day.  I have a little, rudimentary familiarity with French that mostly comes from a summer in Geneve.  And you are WAY past me, speaking French with a flow and accent that I don’t think I could ever achieve at my advanced age.  It is a visceral and stark reminder and endorsement for learning languages at a young age.  When you are flowing in French, I am often astounded that we are related.  That we have had mostly had the same experiences. Cause your dad is not so good at languages. 

Every day you switch between French and English seamlessly.  I am continually astounded by how comfortable you are in the language of your school.   As an ancillary benefit, your mom’s French is getting better too, since she talks to you daily in French and models that it is important and worthy. 

Lastly on this front, I think about where you might go.  Where you will go.  You are so big, smart and dynamic.  But you are also just four.  To see what you can do, what you do do on a daily basis is to reframe what is possible.  It is helping me break my own mold in my own language study.



Arabic: Which leads directly to Arabic, and for this I am the main flag bearer in our family.  Your mom is also studying Arabic, and she is predictably doing amazing in pretty limited instruction.  I hope you have all of her language genes and also her gumption.  It helps so much learning a new language.

I am working and studying everyday to learn Arabic and really enjoying it.  The fun part for me is being out in our new city and picking up little pieces of life that I would have missed two months go, when I knew literally zero Arabic.  That said, I am also reaping some rewards from having learned a similar language a few years ago, Amharic.  Some vocab overlaps and the structure and ethos of the languages are similar enough to be helpful.  Which is great, as I need all the help I can get. 

English: The thing I too easily forget and don’t give you enough credit for is that you are also learning English.  You will be learning English for years, still.  Your mom is doing this great program for teaching reading, which is taking your loquacious verbal skills and applying it to reading and the more comprehensive language.  The mental gymnastics of learning two languages at the same time is frankly mind-boggling when I step back and think about it.  But not to you.  It just normal.  Just like it is normal to hundred of millions of kids, maybe a billion +.    


So, sleep tight honey.  Your mind needs that sleep, to recover, to build your abundant new neural pathways, to rest, to sleep.

love,
dad

Saturday, August 24, 2019

Dear ECS: Our new home in Cairo


Dear ECS,

Hey sweetie, it (once again) has been quite some time since I last wrote to you.  

We have been so damn busy, so sorry about the delay.  We have (once again) been pretty much constantly in motion; mostly throughout the US visiting loved ones.  Then it was off to London for a few blissful days with dear friends and finally touching down in our new home – Cairo.


What a summer we have had, as a family, a daily/nightly cornucopia of great people, wonderfully beautiful places, deep history (both our collective families and our country), sumptuous food and drink, and a lot of late nights for you and your parents.  The lengthy list of people who have been there for us along the adventure through something like thirteen states and over twenty-five sleeping spots is a who's who's of people we feel so close with, across three generations.  Wow.

And now, after so much movement and intensity, we have moved into a different phase of our life here in Cairo.  We are nesting, setting up, and establishing routines.  We are exhaling.  You, your mom, and me all seem to revel in this new phase--loving our new, massive apartment and the super walkable and interesting neighborhood that will be home for four years. 

You are four years old right now, so your life will be pretty close to doubled when it is time to leave this city and country.  This doubling blows my mind, as our family adventure through the duration of your life to date has been so so memorable, special and enjoyable.  Thinking about running that back again, that after you living in four counties in your first four years, the next four will be just this one feels right.  That stability was something we were attracted to with our joint work opportunities in Cairo and now that we are in the nascent period of living that life, it sure feels like the right instinct.


So what does our new home look and feel like?  Great question. 

·      Home: it has only been three months since we left our last home, but somehow it feels like so much longer.  Walking into our apartment the first (late) night with a mix of trepidation and excitement, we were so happy to find a thoughtful and workable layout, one with some outdoor space, comfortable bedrooms, and big, open kitchen.   The first couple of weeks here found us slowly re-acquiring the stuff you need for a house to work, and settling into this new space.  We all seem pretty happy with where we find ourselves, and as we do fun stuff like dance partiers in the living room, or watching the moon, or nice dinners, we are slowly building on that initial excitement, filling in actual fun moments for imagined ones.


·      Food: our week here in Egypt last year on vacation was yummy, so we knew we would get a good range of foods in Cairo.  And it has exceeded my expectations, with a lot of good, healthy, and cheap food throughout our first days.  We have sampled several Egyptian staples already, and found them all yummy.  My persona favorite addition to my diet is the soft feta cheese that is ubiquitous – making everything better.  Your young taste buds don’t have quite the same feeling towards feta, but give it time.


·      Neighborhood: our area is tree lined, which is very welcome in the summer heat that has popped over a hundred degrees a few times already.  Walking in the shade, even in the heat of the day, is bearable with the shade of the old trees on so many of the streets near our house.  What are we walking to?  Well, the pool/tennis club is a great addition to our life, as well as a number of hip restaurants.  Many, many more to explore, but thus far it has been very encouraging.  I love having you get up on my shoulders and doing some exploring, that never gets old. 



·      City: honestly, we haven’t done a ton of exploring thus far.  Mom and I snuck in a trail run last weekend in the desert, which was super fun.  But my views of the city outside of our neighborhood have mostly been through a car window, and while the Nile looks lovely even at 45 miles an hour, this doesn’t really count as exploring our new, huge city. 

Thankfully, we have some time.

love,
dad

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Dear ECS: Tour de “West” and wilderness backpacking


Dear ECS,

Wow honey, what a whirlwind we have been on these last 6 weeks.  From Addis to Berlin to DC to Corpus Christi to Charlottesville to Chicago to Montana to the overnight train to Portland to Seattle to Salt Lake and now on the plane to Maine.   The movement has been exhilarating (and a little exhausting for your mom and dad), seeing and being in so many amazing parts of our great country.  With so many loved ones, both family and friends who have known you or about to know you for your whole life; and have known your mom and/or dad for so many years. 


The movement has been a little challenging at times for you, with so many faces to play with along the way.  Saying goodbye is hard for a 4 year old, and for a 39 year old, and we have had to say goodbye to a lot of loved ones these last 6 weeks.  But that means we have also gotten to say hello to those same great people and to get to spend some treasured time with them.  The goodbyes are worth it, but it is hard for you in those moments and we try to be as empathic and understanding as possible for all the processing you are doing about family, relationships and movement.


During these last weeks, we have gotten to spend so much time together as whole family.  This works out really well, as Mu, you and me all love this time.  I am already projecting forward despite my better instincts to when we land in Cairo in a month and revert back to the normal rhythms of our family, with both your mom and dad working and you in school.  That is the rhythm that allows us to be the people we need to be for the foreseeable future, engaged in our lives, learning and working outside of our house.  But this treasured time in the US and the duality of both frenetic travel and lingering whole family time means that this is our new normal, 10 weeks is enough to reset our internal family biorhythms.   



There has been part of this US tour, mostly out West, that had us apart as a whole family.  Your mom was generous and enabled me to go on a serious backpacking adventure with Sean, my college buddy, and some other friends in the Teton Wilderness for a week.  This trip was deep in the wilderness, by some measures we went to the most remote point in the lower 48 at Bridger Lake not far from the Yellowstone River.  We crossed rivers swollen with snowmelt and a mountain pass still decidedly in the frozen tundra of winter.  We covered a ton of ground and were the first people in much of the terrain we crossed and privileged to be in some of the prettiest and wildest parts of our great country.   We saw a grizzly above our camp on our second to last night in the backcountry. 

Throughout the trip, I was constantly thinking and talking about you and Muriel, as 4 of the 5 guys on the trip are dads and husbands and much of our talks were about the shared joys and challenges of those two roles.  And I was also thinking about an imagined and hopeful future when we are able to do these kinds of adventures as whole family.   Given how challenging the trip was and how remote we were for most of it, that future is many years in the future.  But it is there and coming closer by the day.   One recurring thought I had as we were on the trip/adventure was how vital this part of my life is to my self-identity, being comfortable and thriving in the wilderness.   This is part of your dad (and mom) that you can’t know about yet, without the full context.  We have started you skiing, climbing and hiking, all of which you love.  But it is going to be quite awhile before we can fully share in this part of our life. 


One thing that was a powerful thread of the backpacking trip was the unspoiled nature and wildlife we saw, with so many different mammals and birds thriving in the deep wilderness.   The grand vistas, roaring rivers, calm lakes, and calm animals created a visual cornucopia, a constant for the entire seven days in the backcountry.  When 100% of your time is in such wonder, I find my mind calms and the peacefulness feels primal.  Which is a weird combo because peace and primal are not things that usually correlated.  This feeling, for me, only comes from being deep in nature, and there is a process in the first couple of days of settling into the calm.  With your/our future only projected to become more busy and noisy, I predict being able to retreat to nature for a respite and renewal will only become more important.   


A second clear thread from my trip was the camaraderie, friendship and teamwork that we enjoyed on the trip.  This bond and coming together into a sum greater than its constituent parts is one of my favorite parts of trips, and being on teams generally.   Everyone on my trip has spent plenty of time in the backcountry and knows the tools of the trade, so everyone could fill many roles on the trip.  This is what makes a team powerful.  Sean was the clear leader; it was his 40th party, his vision and his bringing us together.  This is great, as teams need a leader.   You are still in the process of figuring out friendships, which is frankly going to be something you do for decades.  I am still working on this as a friend to loved ones, some whom I have known for many decades and some less than a year. 

\

With that honey, we have about another month in the US and London before we get to Cairo.  It is going to be a continued fun adventure, and one that will mostly in New England.  Let’s hope we keep up the great memories and adventures.


love,
dad