B.A.B.E. Week 21: Supermoon lunar eclipse, three valuable lessons, and running

On Sunday night, we watched the eclipse of this year’s supermoon.  It was surreal and beautiful – at points like a blip of a moon sliver, at other points like a nectarine that could be plucked out of the sky, and other points a muddy reddish perfect sphere in the sky.   As a NASA scientist put it, we were watching the reflections of the world’s sunsets.   So wonderful to watch that celestial body and marvel at an occurrence that hasn’t happened since Wilson and I were toddlers. 

A supermoon lunar probably won’t happen again until 2033.  Right now 2033 feels like a lifetime away.   And in a sense it is.  Elle will have “grown up” and (hopefully) be heading to college.   It is hard to imagine Elle on her way to college while I am right now in the throes of watching for her first teeth to break through.  Indeed, it is hard to imagine her as a knowledgeable 18 year old when, at present, I am so easily proud of simple developmental acts like putting her pacifier back in her mouth or her yells with joy in order to hear her own voice.  Or holding a book to "read". 

My heart was especially warmed when I read that her outstretched arm waving is actually her reaching to be picked up.   This metamorphoses to a baby who has opinions and can act on those opinions beyond crying is amazing.  Thinking about her eventual metamorphosis to an adult just doesn’t seem possible but as everyone reminds me, it will come so soon, too soon.  So I try to remember that and enjoy these days and hours of cuddles and smiles (and yes, some opinionated crying).

Trying to remember and enjoy can be hard when striving to conquer some of the other aspects of B.A.B.E.dom – aspirations/career and body/health.   Keeping the long-game in mind is especially hard when work is stressful for me or Wilson or both.  It is also hard as I make fitness goals.   The balance between work, baby, and fitness has not been perfect in these past 21 weeks but I have learned some valuable lessons:

• Things will go pear-shaped but the small stuff really is small stuff.

 Yesterday while making dinner, a picture fell over – flipping my just-made salad onto the fridge and floor.   After cleaning the salad up, I got out a container of batter made the day before for these eggy bread things called popovers.  I opened the container of popover batter and:  mold!  In one day and in what I thought was a clean container in the fridge…mold had formed.   But I was less peeved than I would have usually been.  And I was less peeved because it has started to sink in how the stakes of life are now much higher now that Elle is here in our world.  And so small stuff about ruined dinner (when we have the resources to buy more dinner) just doesn’t seem as important any more.

• Multi-tasking is not necessarily good.

I love to multi-task but I have noticed that both my work and my quality time focused on Elle decreases.  And I am not sure that doing both at the same time outweighs the decrease in quality in both.   So I am going to be a little more thoughtful/careful in my multi-tasking decisions.

• Exercise goals (like marathons) will be there for many more years but Elle will only be [20 weeks and 5 days] once.

This last lesson I have learned is from my sister – mother-extraordinaire of 5 kids.   Among being a mother and many other attributes, my sister is an incredibly hard worker, a doctor, a runner, and a volunteer (to a multitude of people and causes in her church and outside it).  Despite her incredible life pace and the fact that she is usually universally supportive, she counseled me against training for a marathon right now while Elle is so young.  This surprised me because the last marathon that I ran was with her.  She counseled me against it because she wants me to have the ability to savor this time in Elle’s life.   I didn’t immediately heed her advice but it was in the back of my mind.  Her words gathered strength as “marathon training” began to eat up more time and cause stress.  I became pretty stressed as I ran longer that my milk-supply would dramatically decrease.   The running does seem to affect me on the margins and I would have probably been able to power through and get Elle the milk that she needs.  But I decided, why should I “power” through?  While exercise is important (still planking, running, etc), the time and stress aren’t worth it to go the 26.2 miles.  So, 13.1 miles here I come.

W's note:  Good choice mommy!

B.A.B.E. Week 20: Agony and gratitude

Elle in one of Wilson's baby onesies

This past week with Elle has been such a delight.   She is becoming even more dexterous with her fingers – taking her pacifier out and once or twice getting it back in by herself.   And strong – tugging my earrings away for my earlobes or pulling out my already thinning hair.  She is also just as talkative and smiley to strangers.   We have now started to take it for granted how she holds her head up so well.   And she is also enjoying sitting up in the corner of the couch or strapped into her high chair.   We haven’t started any solid foods yet but she seems interested by what is going into our mouths.  But, these happy joyful moments sometimes become clouded by how intense suffering in the world is.

 There has been so much intense suffering just since Elle’s birth – the South Carolina shootings, the continued destruction by ISIS, the Middle Eastern and African immigrant crisis in Europe, to name a few.   These agonies are compounded by the simple indignities and hardships endured by billions of the world’s inhabitants.

 For example, my parents are currently finishing up a humanitarian and religious 20 month mission to The Gabon.  And in their latest email, they shared an anecdote that for me typifies the lot of so many in the world without adequate access to nutrition, healthcare, transportation, technology, etc:

 . . .we left the house this morning to find a man with a heavy load on his shoulders, climbing out of the deep gutters in front our house.  He struggled a minute and it became apparent he was blind, appeared to be cataracts.  We guided him down, he kept heading toward the ditch.  He said he had a load of manioc to send to "mama" in the village.  We finally reached the small store at the intersection down the street and the man there helped him find his way across the street and up to the taxis.  What a brave man, to come down a street he obviously didn't know when he couldn't see, in order to serve his family.

This anecdote touched me because I think about the 1.2 billion people who live in extreme poverty (survive on less than $1.25 per day).   These extreme poor and the many more who struggle with health and food and security problems all over the world make me think about how lucky Elle is, how lucky I am, and probably how lucky you (reader of this blog entry) are.   We have so many opportunities and protections.    I also feel despair at our collective inability to solve all these problems.  I know so many people make progress, like my parents in Gabon and many of my friends.  But it is still hard to stomach the daily deprivation and agonies.

That said, I always have to come back to hope and optimism.  One of those sources of optimism are the world’s sustainable development goals -- they consist of 17 broad goals and 169 specific targets.   One of these targets is to eradicate extreme poverty within 15 years.   And the rest of the goals and targets also aim to make the world a much better place by 2030.   These sustainable development goals or SDGs will be adopted by world leaders at the end of this month and then it is a pretty short time to achieving them.  Here’s to hoping that they (and we) succeed!

B.A.B.E. Week 19: Who knew Panama was great for a 4-month old?

This past week of vacation was all about the "B" and "E" aspects of B.A.B.E.dom:  baby and exploration.   Wilson and I got to spend tons of time with Elle.  In fact, Elle seemed to really miss Wilson when he left the house on Monday.   And as for exploration?  Wilson went easy on me for this vacation.   Instead of our usual hectic pace of constant movement, we only slept in two places – El Vallé de Anton and Panama City.   We also visited a couple of beaches on our drive from El Vallé to Panama City.   And out of these locales, the highlight for me was Panama City.

We stayed in El Vallé first.  El Vallé is a small town in the rainforest about a two hour drive from Panama City.   It was amazing to be in a rainforest after living in the Bahamas.   This is because the island that we live on in The Bahamas is surprisingly not as rich in species as you would think.  Sure, the ocean and coral reefs provide a lot of biodiversity but the landmass of our island, New Providence, is not as conducive to the evolution of life.  This may be because there are no river ecosystems or very little topsoil.   But in any case, it was nice to be in a mountainous rain forest of one of the most bio-diverse countries in the world.   

Biodiversity or species richness came in at several points of our trip even though we were only in Panama from Tuesday night to Sunday morning.   First, the lushness of El Vallé was incredible.  And it was so nice to hear the calls of frog (super loud and like video game noises) as we walked to dinner from our airbnb.   Then, when we were visiting beaches on our way to Panama city, we saw a very disturbing sight – a dead hacked sea turtle.  What made this sad sight even more disturbing was the fact that the dead turtle was only 300 hundred feet from a marked sea turtle conservation nesting site.  Very sad to think about the human beings who seemingly  kill this beautiful and threatened creature for no reason.

Frank Gehry Biomuseum

The last important aspect of biodiversity of our trip was Frank Gehry’s new biodiversity museum in Panama City.  It was a fantastic museum (although currently small with enlargement plans).   Throughout the museum, Elle was an angel throughout our visit.  We had her in our BECO Gemini carrier outward facing while she was awake and inward facing while she was sleep.   When she is outward facing, she is displaying her full charismatic skills.  She is now shrieking with laughter to communicate with people and stuffing her hand in her mouth to self-soothe.  And then, when she is inward facing, she can sleep for up to 90 minutes (not as long as when she was an infant but still a good stretch).

Elle seemed to enjoy the time in the carrier and the stroller in Panama.  Surprisingly, Panama felt cooler than the Bahamas.  So we could be out and about during the day more often. Also, there are some great paths in Panama City for our stroller so we were able to take Elle out exploring with multiple modes of transportation.   The Gehry museum and the accessibility of Panama City wasn't the only thing that made the city so great.   Of course, there is the Panama Canal, which is on par with the engineering feat of the Great Pyramids.  So it was cool to see parts of the Panama Canal and learn that, until 4 million years ago, there was no need for a Panama Canal because Panama didn't exist and the Atlantic and Pacific oceans weren't split.   This is one of the reasons for the extent of Panama's biodiversity.  I would love to take Elle back when she is older to witness more of Panama's biodiversity.

Because of the shortness of our stay in Panama, we didn't get to explore as much of its biodiversity as I would have liked.  And that's why I think the least-specie rich part of the trip was actually my fave -- Panama City.  In Panama City, we stayed in the old part of the city -- Casco Viejo.  To be fair, much of Casco Viejo has been rebuilt but it is still charming and most important -- urban.  Urbanity is something that Wilson and I have really missed in The Bahamas.  Here, we have to drive to restaurants, to see friends, coffee shops, etc.  Staying in the Casco Viejo neighborhood of Panama City meant that we could walk to an abundance of interesting places --restaurants, markets, coffee shops, etc.   Experiencing a new place by my own locomotion is an important part to me of the "exploration" aspect of "B.A.B.E.dom"  and Panama really delivered in this aspect.

B.A.B.E. Week 18: 8 days/ 2 weeks of vacation

On the plane to Panama.

I am writing this blog on a plane from Atlanta to Panama.  Wilson and I are currently on vacation.  He is taking the last of his paternity leave and I am readjusting to life as a working mom by taking vacation a month after coming back from maternity leave.  Taking vacation so soon has been a little awkward and stressful to take vacation so soon.  But the timing made sense because we had a family event in Maine and a wedding in Maryland.  And then of course, Wilson added on Panama for good measure (smile).

Elle has been a champ through all of this movement.  She even celebrated her 4-month birthday last Saturday with lobster in Maine for brunch and Argentinian barbeque for dinner at the Maryland wedding.  Throughout all of this, she has charmed family and friends.   And has probably been held by 40 loved ones at this point – great aunts, great uncles, long-time friends, etc. 

 Elle is also continuing to roll over but not as fast or as regular as her mom expects.  Her rolls are sort of a slow motion meander to get out of doing tummy time.   Tummy time is not her favorite but some of her favorite things include:  super soft stuffed animals like the cow below named Cobb, the rattle in the picture above with a rattle on one side and soft fabric on the other, and of course her pacifier.  Her skills with her pacifier are really starting to develop -- she is not only guiding it into her mouth more often (with the help of mom or a great aunt) but she also has taken it out so she can suck on the rattle...

Elle also really likes blankets.  Specifically and strangely, she loves to fall asleep with a blanket on her face.  I know that sounds weird and dangerous with SIDS but Wilson and I watch her like hawks when she has the blanket on her face.   And it seems to be strangely calming to her when she is winding down for naps.   We definitely do not allow her this blankie routine at night.  We are still swaddling her with nothing in her bassinet or travel crib.   Not sure when she will graduate from the swaddle to a sleep sack and a crib…

Speaking of cribs...Elle has been sleeping in her Phil &Ted’s port-a-crib during this trip, which we love.  It is lightweight, easy to assemble (after you get the hang of it), and best of all it fits in our lightweight suitcase.  We keep hitting 46 lbs on the flight scales despite the changing composition of the suitcase so we are happy to not have to deal with overweight fees.   Especially good since we have traveled on both United and Delta this trip and have had very different experiences.

United has been the pits, which isn’t surprising since I have had issues with them in the past.   For this trip, United has been the very underwhelming because they are child-unfriendly compared to Delta, Southwest and Jetblue.   First, unlike the other 3 airlines, they do not give any preferential boarding treatment to folks traveling with small children.  I don’t mind this one as much as the second kid-unfriendly policy. 

The second unfriendly policy is, unlike Delta, Southwest, and Jetblue, they do not extend an extra courtesy to lap children.  The courtesy that I refer to is how parents can ask to bring on the lap child’s carseat if there are vacant seats on the plane.  I understand that if I am bringing a lap child I have obviously not bought a ticket.  But I think that if there are empty seats on the plane (for example on this flight there are dozens of empty seats), it is nice to allow the infant a carseat on the plane…and am so happy that Delta extended us that courtesy for this flight to Panama – allowing me to type this blogpost.  Yes!

Wedding in Maryland

B.A.B.E. Week 17: Who does Elle look like?

Who does Elle look like?  To most people, it seems obvious – her dada.  And her dada’s mom (pictured below during this week’s trip to Maine).  But I also try to claim a little Elle in me too.   For direct comparison, you can see pictures of me and Wilson.   Elle obviously has her dada’s coloring but I think the shape of her features may favor me – we’ll see.  

Muriel

Wilson

In any case, she continues to be a joy.   And her personality seems to have a little of both me and Wilson thus far.   For example, I think that, like me, she can get a little overwhelmed by large group social situations.   But like her dada, she can also be extremely personable with new people – smiling, cooing and talking.

This week, she continues to be more verbal and especially likes being around other children and babies.  She seems very interested in other babies especially.

 We have seen a lot more kids/babies than normal because we have been on vacation in Maine. Wilson is from Maine and has a lot of family and old friends here, which is lovely.   Add to that the fact that we got married here in Portland, Maine and it is always nice to come back.

Being back in Maine has been a wholesale fulfillment for the “exploration” part of “B.A.B.E.” dom.  This fulfillment comes even though Maine is familiar because it still feels new and different to me.  And, then of course it is new to Elle.  For me, it feels different and exciting because the tastes, sights, and people are obviously not the same as the Bahamas. I also haven’t memorized our favorite places or how the light hits the lake.  And I can certainly savor the taste of lobster and whoopie pies anew each time we come to Maine. Elle has been really enjoying the deliciously temperate weather as well, lots of outdoor time. 

The church where we got married

The other aspects of “B.A.B.E” dom –work and health -- have been coming along fine in Maine.  I worked remotely yesterday because I had a lot to do and it was a little disruptive and weird to come on vacation so soon after coming back from maternity leave.  That said, it is nice to ease back into work by having this vacation come right now.   For health, it was really fun because Wilson and I went on our first run TOGETHER since October.   Our relationship began with us running together and running is something that we both enjoy so it was nice to actually chat and run while Wilson’s parents watched Elle back at the homestead.   Wilson’s parents have truly helped us and me in achieving that B.A.B.E.dom balance. 

Thank you Neny and Baba!