Dear ECS: Tahoe on our mind

Honey, 

There is a lot going on in the world, and one place that is really struggling is the South Tahoe area with the massive and destructive Caldor fire (https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2021/us/wildfires-air-quality-tracker.html?fireId=caldor_el_dorado_ca).  

Your mom and I love South Lake Tahoe and treasure the ton of time we have been blessed to spend there with dear friends and family.  Here is a sampling of that time in our life, keeping Tahoe in our minds and hearts right now. 

Be safe and be well. 

love, 

dad

Dear ECS: Heading West

Dear ECS, 

We are near the Utah/Colorado border, having driven more than 2,000 miles from Maryland to Utah.  And here we are up on a bluff overlooking the mighty Green River as it meanders through fields sun kissed and rhythmically watered, with a mix of canyon country and mountains in the far distance.  Why are we on the bluff?  Going WAY back, it is because a huge flash flood 149 million (!) years ago washed hundreds of dinosaurs and their bones to an alluvial resting spot, which was discovered more than a hundred years ago and is now the showpiece of Dinosaur National Monument.  When we woke this morning very early in Denver, we weren’t sure if we would make it here.  And now we stand in front of hundreds of bones enmeshed in the rock, bones large and small, delicate and stout.  And the National Park Service lets you touch the 149 million year bones! 

My mind is blown as I put both hands on leg bone from a long extinct dinosaur and feel the power of time and of this “animal” that predates humanity by so many tens of millions of years.  Frankly, I never imagined ever getting to touch a Dino bone, and here we are in our national monument and getting to bring our time back to their time for a brief moment. 

Rarely has the Talking Heads made so much sense;

And you may find yourself in another part of the world 

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile 

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife 

And you may ask yourself, "Well... how did I get here?”

We were on the road for a week, making our way from DC out to Utah where your mom is from and where we have so much family.  We were so fortunate to make this trip and even more fortunate to be in Utah until the end of July.   Our drive across included stops in Pittsburg (a first for the Korol family), Chicago, Denver and then on to Utah by way of classic Route 40.  The drive was a continual and visceral reminder of how big and pretty our nation is, and how much range there is from the coastal capital, through rolling Appalachian forest, to the plains, the Great Lakes, then the rockies and the high desert and then to the Wasatch Range.   

Being on the open road is so freeing and cathartic, listening to music, books on tape and podcasts, talking about our life’s journey, and our nation’s journey, eating yummy food.  This road trip feels deeply satisfying (and that this blog started as a travel blog is no accident, as movement and the journey have been sustaining and affirming for a long time).  Your mom and I realized as we headed to Chicago on day two of the trip that we had been in the Eastern Standard Timezone for well over a year, our longest period of time in a single time zone in our marriage.  

The best part of our drive was seeing friends and family along the way.  We saw your aunt in CO and her husband, friends from Duke, from San Francisco, from college for both your mom and dad.  It was a fulsome time with loved ones, made all the more special by the time and events and challenges that have taken place in the intervening period since we were last together.  A special joy for this dad was watching you play happily with the progeny of loved ones, the generational joy that is too precious to fully put to words.  

One new development in the Great Plains that I was surprised and happy to see what the massive proliferation of the large wind turbines.  Across Iowa, Nebraska, Illinois, and eastern CO, there were thousands of turbines above the farmland.  When I last transited the country in a car to start my career at the State Department, there were a smattering.  And now the land is generating both sustenance and energy, a green energy revolution happening in plain sight. 

A few other highlights; 

- Three rivers confluence in PIttsburgh: as I mentioned, none of this Korol family had ever been to Pittsburg, having heard many a good thing but never having made it happen.  We arrived in the early evening and got to do a big walk around, with the best parts along the various rivers.  The Allegheny, Monongahela, and Ohio all come together, really the Allegheny and Monongahela come together at the confluence to form the mighty Ohio river.  And the waterfront was buzzing with life and energy has people young and old enjoyed the great summer weather and the mix of water and cityscape.  A great start to our trip. 

- Chicago water front: another waterfront that was buzzing was Chicago, where we arrived for the first fully open weekend from the long COVID restrictions.  The city was so alive, as Chicago is a city that really treasures summer weekends in normal times and seemingly extra as those restrictions were lifted.  A favorite pastime for your dad is getting on a bike and riding around the city, and I got to do a couple of rides along the Lake Michigan waterfront during the weekend, enjoying the summer vibe, people watching and that feeling of movement and exploration. 

- Trail runs in CO and Utah: lastly, it has been so fun to hit the trails in the front range of Denver and up in Steamboat for some good, long runs.  A wise woman, aka your mom, taught me years ago that trail running is like hiking, but you see more and do it more quickly.  There is a trade off of speed/savoring, but now I am fully on your mom’s side and getting to explore these vast open spaces and enjoy the trails was really special.  Made all the more special to do it with buddies and/or use their well taken recommendatons for epic runs. 

In sum, we have had a great trip across our great country.  A few bumps, boredom and hangry moments, but that is to be expected and is part of the journey.  Congrats on your longest, in time and mile, road trip and here is to more in the future. 

love,

dad

Dear ECS: Learning to be more beta

Dear ECS, 

Hey sweetie, hope you are sleeping sweetly tonight.  One thing I know is that you are sleeping next to our, almost as sweet as you pup, - Lacy Rose  "Rosy". Spring to Summer has been a fun time with birthdays and anniversaries in our house.  You turned six, and had a joyful week+ of birthday celebrations.  The contrast between 2020 and 2021 really shown through, and all that has transpired from one summer to the next. 

Photo credit to Rob

One of the things that has happened was getting Rosy in early August 2020.  We picked her up from an idyllic, Amish farm in Hershey, PA.  The contrast between the Amish family and her first day in our family going in the car, to our cargo bike and finally on a water taxi out to our house in Maine was a little microcosm of life in the Korol family.   

Thankfully, she (and you) have adapted to that pace and semi-chaos so well.  Your mom pushed and led us to get Rosy.  I had to be convinced, as life seemed busy and bountiful enough to me in the Korol house.  But i was SO wrong, Rosy is and has been a superlative addition to our house and community -  with a stellar 100% approval rating. 

Picking up Rosy in PA

One key part of the joy of our puppy is being social, a trait Rosy has in spades with kiddos, adults and fellow dogs alike.  She has led me to have dozens of conversations and connections that would have otherwise gone wanting.  Somedays when I pick you up at school there are 8-10 of your schoolmates loving on Rosy.  Who doesn’t love cuddling on a bundle of joy and energy?

That is really what I wanted to write about on this missive to you, sweet baby girl.  You see, I have been trying to be more present and thoughtful these days, primarily through morning meditation that is a combo of breath retention and mindfulness.  It has been a year-long inner journey, and one of those journeys that doesn’t have an end point.  

Which comes back to ol’ Rosy (not really old - she just turned 1 year old - but in dog years that is something).  Something that Rosy has brought me these months is a re-think about power dynamics.  You see, Rosy is a pure beta dog.  Asserting dominance is the opposite of Rosy's essence.  She is open and loving towards most everything and expects with every bone in her body and neuron in my mind that other dogs and people will reciprocate.  

The thing that took me months to realize was how having this openness to the world creates this positive feedback loop, where being beta gets more times playing with dogs big and small. More cuddles with 6 year olds.  More runs in the park. More of all the things she loves the most. Day after day, week after week, I see how Rosy orients to the world and that positive feedback loop keeps flowing in the right direction.  

So what i have been trying to do, not always successfully, is to take a similar approach.   Yes, this type A dad of yours is trying to be more beta. To be more forgiving and understanding of those around us, to our loved ones and dear friends.  And it is working, at least I think so.  Less abrasive and indignant and entitled.  More flexible.  And what it seems to me is that, like Rosy, I am getting more of the good parts of life - connecting and fellowship and so much more.  Imagine that, being more beta learned from a pup. 

Photo credit to elle

Learning from a pup when you are in your 40’s is not something I expected when we got Rosy last year.  I figured you would learn a lot from having a dog, like i did when i was your age.  And you have learned a ton.  But here we are all learning. 

love,

dad

Dear ECS: Back home

Dear ECS,

Well, it has been an eventful month+ honey.  We have been really enjoying the Spring here in DC, and also a slightly chiller spring up in Maine for a week - plus some great visits to Princeton and NYC. 

Heading up to Maine was wonderful, and for me the best part was seeing how excited you, mom and Rosy (and me) were to be back home in Maine.  When we left there to move to Takoma Park, we weren’t sure when we were coming back.  Which in a way gets to the crazy uncertainty we have had over the last year+.  Mom thought we would be coming back to Maine in six weeks, and here it is six months later.  

That time did nothing to diminish our collective excitement of getting to the island, of your amazing connections with friends up in Maine (us adults too) and the beauty of the state and our little slice of heaven.  I feel very grateful to see you so clearly at home in my own hometown, a dynamic I never imagined as possible when you were born six years ago.  Life is funny, it has so many twists and turns and wrinkles - a point made all the more obvious via our collective experience in the last years.

The Babas

Another joy since i last wrote has been your Babas (aka my parents) coming and visiting us in the DC area.  They are wonderful and your connection to your grandparents is deep and very special.  You guys played for hours, drew for hours, and generally tunneling into time together.  

One highlight was the Babas setting up raised beds for some gardening in our back yard.  It was a full circle moment for me, as my parents were HUGE gardeners when I was your age.  We had so many raised beds when I was a kid, and the Babas grew so much delicious food as back to landers in rural Maine in the early 80’s.  Through my entire childhood into adolescence, growing food was a big part of our household.  Perfect little cherry tomatoes, abundant greens, and snap peas that popped.  Just a small sampling of the very essence of food grown and eaten well.  Your delight, and my parents, at setting up our little garden was palpable and felt like a continuation of my own childhood in a way that was deeply satisfying. 

“We should do something about this problem”

The Babas visit flows into the last thing I wanted to write about honey.  Their last night in DC, we all did movie night and watched a documentary about coral reefs around the world.  Who doesn’t love watching mesmerizing fish and remembering life in the Bahamas?  Which is true, only this documentary was about coral bleaching around the world and climate change.  So kind of tough for a kindergartener to grasp, no matter how smart, given it is hard for this 41 year old to really, truly get my head around the problems.  

Made all the better when you said about 3/4 of the way through the movie - “We should do something about this problem.”  I could not agree more.  And I know you will do something about this problem, and so many other problems.  I am working on big problems, just like your mom.  But your sense about needing solutions and proactively working towards those solutions, working for a better world at such a young age mirrors the data about the generation between your parents and you, and is exactly the ethos we need.  

We are here to help with problems big and small, working towards solutions across generations. You are an inspiration and also the impetus for working towards a better world. 

love, 

dad

What a wringer of a year

Well, it has been a minute.  The longest minute of the Korol family’s lives, and I imagine for most everyone.  The last time we wrote in this space, it was March 6th and I somehow was writing about a ski trip to Lebanon at the end of February 2020 with a buddy.  I wore a mask in transit for that trip, which was the first time I wore a mask for any length of time in something that has become much, much more familiar in the intervening months.  Mu and Elle were in South Africa.  That feels like a lifetime ago. 

As a family, we have moved a lot in the intervening year.  Back in February of 2020, we were so excited to have settled into Cairo for a good long time, at least for our life.  We love the city, our  apartment, our friends and community and the life that was supposed to unfold over the next 3+ years.  

March 4th 2020 in Cairo on the Nile

It was not to be.  We left Cairo in March due to COVID, lived in DC for four and half months, went up to Maine for about four months and then moved back to the DC area after Thanksgiving.  Four houses in a year, four school set ups for Elle, a couple of jobs for each of us.  We are deeply grateful for the opportunities and privilege that allowed us to adapt.  

Through it all, like so many we at various points were in quarantine, isolation, pods, socially distant hangs, fire pits, COVID scares, and being fearful of groceries and grocery stores. 

By far the biggest joy was the new addition to our family, Lacy Rose.  Rosy is a 9 month old or so mini poodle puppy that is just perfect and exactly what we needed when we got her in August.  She loves Elle the most, but is quite taken with her grandparents (Wilson and Muriel)  and is such a joy.  She brings a lot of joy to whomever we see on the street walking in our neighborhood, which is quite fun.  

We also grew to love Thursday evening livestreams from/with Ben Gibbard, sunset picnics, zoom calls with people whom it had been too long since we had spoken with, so many home-cooked delicious meals, having Elle connect to my hometown and state, finding joy in local exploration, weekly outdoor dance parties on the DC waterfront, and the first delicious, decadent takeout meal.  I went almost 75 days without being in a car, which I think is the longest period of not being in a combustion-driven vehicle in my life.  Here is to being local and immersed where you are. 

Why did we pull back from this blog, which has been part of our life and connecting to loved ones near and far for so many years?  Good question, and some (maybe a lot) gets to an ennui from pandemic living, of adjusting to life together as a family that was different than the life that came before.  Some is that we have mostly celebrated life and experiences abroad since we started this blog in 2012, and it didn’t feel like this was celebrating time.  And some was guilt over our new lives and being able to adjust in the midst of so much pain and uncertainty for millions, nay billions. 

And ... the ongoing reckoning and our own increased awareness around structural racism and inequality.  Having long treasured diversity, it has been quite a journey to come to more fully understand the deep deep deep and pervasive aspect of white privilege and as a result my own unconscious bias, a privilege that applies and explains so much in my life.  Am trying to be a better person, more aware of that privilege, aware that not everyone feels the same about and in the spaces that I inhibit, aware that I have so much to do, and can do, to be a better member of my communities.  

One other thing I have been thinking about a lot lately is how we have such a finite time on this earth, that we are destined to die from the moment we take our first breadth.  We are mortal.  Memory and experiences are some of, if not the, highest currency of our time on this earth.  And while many of the memories of this time will be painful, we sure do have a lot of memories.  Some days never felt so long with memories, good and bad.  And often in short succession.  It has been an intense period in our lives and family, which we hope makes us better humans for however long we are blessed to be on this earth. 

Much love - be safe and be well.