Thursday, November 7, 2013

Budapest: How do the Hungarian Baths Compare?

Budapest (pronounced Budapesht) is a delightful city -- full of ornate buildings, churches, and statues.  It is also home to many baths, as the city sits on top of a treasure trove of thermal springs. In fact, under Budapest's centuries old roads, 118 natural thermal springs spew out 70 million liters of hot water daily. Thus, a visit to Budapest is incomplete without visiting one of the Baths on offer. I visited the Szechenyi Baths with its 21 pools and numerous medicinal offerings such as "underwater curative gymnastics" and "carbon dioxide baths". The Bath's available schmorgasbord caused reflection on the baths, bathhouses, and thermal springs that we have seen across the globe -- and how I would assign superlatives....
Sunniest Personality -- Salto, Uruguay


Year Visited: 2013
While we were in South America this summer, we happened upon springs in Uruguay. I deem these springs sunniest personality because there were about 15 springs outside with beautiful fountains, green lawns, and the normal curative springs abounding.
Most Likely to Traumatize You -- Fez, Morocco
Year Visited: 2006
In Fez, Morocco, I visited a women only bath house because a friend had recommended Moroccan bath houses and the glorious massages that you could get therein. That friend may have been referring to bath houses in more touristed towns such as Marrakesh or Casablanca. Fez, however, doesn't see as many tourists even though it is an extremely lovely and a 1200 year old city. In Fez, I entered and asked a formidable Muslim woman in my broken French to gain admission to the bath and get a massage. She told me in her broken French (Arabic is most people's primary language) to strip down to my underwear and that someone would come get me for a massage. Sure enough, a woman who looked to be about 70 came and got me. The woman with thinning white hair was naked except for some saggy graying white granny panties. Mmm...this didn't look promising. It got even less promising as I followed her to a bathing area with various women bathing under taps. The old woman motioned for me to lay down on the ground in the middle of the women. And then she proceeded to SCRUB me. The women around me stopped bathing and stared at me as I lay shocked -- on the ground with a the old woman flapping as she rubbed my skin red. The "massage" couldn't end fast enough. Morocco was not a relaxing bath experience.
Grossest -- Aguas Caliente, Peru
Year Visited: 2013
After the bathhouse in Fez, I have continued (perhaps fool hardily) to ask for massages and go to baths. But the worst experience by far was the thermal baths in the city, Aguas Caliente, down the mountain from Machu Picchu. These thermal baths did not encourage you to shower prior to entering and, you didn't really want to shower because, the showers were FREEZING cold and outside. Needless to say, like 1000 other people "bathing", the night that we went we didn't shower. I am pretty sure that those 1000 other people didn't shower either because the water was dark grey. Yuck. But that did not stop the teenage couples from playing tonsil hockey and more. Gross. We left the Baths pretty quickly even though we were sore from hiking Macchu Pichu. Trying to repair sore muscles in those baths did not outweigh the risk of catching something there.
Cleanest (Probably) -- San Francisco, CA
Year Visited: 2011
I eagerly visited a bathhouse while living in San Francisco - a Japanese Bathhouse. The Japanese Bathhouse has various dunking pools, hot, cold, and warm.  And you MUST shower before entering. Absolutely lovely, except everyone is naked on the "women only" and I assume "men only" days. Normally, I would approach this in a very European manner, e.g. no problem. However, on the day that I chose to frequent this establishment, I saw a friend from Peace Corps there who I had not seen for 6 years. It was pretty awkward, ok really awkward, to hug, naked, in a body of water. But at least, it seemed to be a very clean body of water.
Most Natural -- Diamond Fork Springs, UT
Year Visited: 2002
Utah has a lot of great hot springs -- both developed (Midway) and undeveloped. My favorite are the Diamond Fork Springs. You have to hike or snowshoe in for about two miles before you come to a beautiful thermal creek nestled in the mountains. Paradise
Most Uncomfortable -- Istanbul, Turkey
Year Visited: 2012
Like Budapest, in Istanbul, it is practically obligatory to visit a Turkish bathhouse while there. I did and no nudity was involved, and also surprisingly a great massage was on offer. But sadly before the great massage, you have to lie on a very hot wet stone in your swimsuit while you are doused with the balloons of suds. The balloons of suds are fine. The hot stone not so much. I felt burned after I escaped from that thing. Even worse than an old woman's scrubbing was the heat of that stone!
Most Likely To Succeed -- Budapest, Hungary
Year Visited: 2013
I vote the Budapest springs most likely to succeed because they are spectacular in their architecture and scope. The Baroque architecture makes you feel like you are nobility from the mid- nineteenth century enjoying a rare privilege. The scope is incredible with the variety of pools, saunas, uses, and medicinal value. So, yes, the Hungarian Baths compare rather nicely and will likely succeed in providing you with what you desire from a Bath experience.

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