Heading home: alone

It was pretty hard.  No, actually it was excruciatingly hard.  Of course, i tried to put on a good face and make the best of it.  I was heading back to the Bahamas. 

For basically the entirety of my life, heading to the Bahamas would have been a day of rejoicing.  Hitting up the lovely beaches, the fun vibe and getting in some serious relaxing. Working in the Bahamas is a quite a bit more than that, but still in my mind the Bahamas brand is beach and fun.  And that has been our experience since i got here in Sept.  There has been a bunch more layers to the time, but still the sun, idyllic water and vibe has been dominant. 

But last Sunday, heading home to the Bahamas was quite a different beast.  I was leaving my lovely, wonderful wife and our secular angel of a daughter, Elle.  Each day together over the last month or so has been amazing. Watching Elle grow literally before our eyes, taking in her delight and enjoying our time together.  Plus we have had my folks most of the time and Mu's sister and her amazing family.  So it has been a time of love and family and together.  Not always perfect, but that is family in reality too. 

So there I was checking in for my flight to Miami and Nassau.  Alone for the longest stretch of time since Elle was born.  I found myself conjuring up her face in my mind with such clarity.  It is funny how much I am able to imbue emotions and thoughts from her adorable face.  Of course, her joy and smile are sometimes bountiful and obvious. But those more mysterious times lead me both guessing and projecting.  I love it and her.  

And now it will be another 6 days until i see her lovely face, hold her precious body in my arms and kiss Mu.  The 13 days in total are really not that long.  I often think of the challenges faced for families with one partner elsewhere more permanently, such as when one partner is serving overseas in the military.  I will see Elle and Mu soon, but that is not the same for those in the armed services. 

Really Mu and I have had a lot more practice on being apart for the last 8 months.  Sometimes it feels almost like a new normal of skype and email.  Mu wrote about this a bit in the last post.  These separations were not part of the plan, but rather flow from trying to make the best decisions along the way.  Is it how we would like to live?  No, frankly.  And these13 days are ones that I would prefer to go differently.  But that said I also feel so fortunate in this diplomatic life, so fortunate to have spent 4 weeks in TN with Mu and Elle and so fortunate for the life ahead.  Really fortunate for the life ahead in a week with my girls back home.